Forever Winter

When I finally open them, he’s staring down at me with a smile on his face. Somehow I know that’s a rare thing for him. Everything about him screams serious all the time. Now not so much. My lipstick is all over his mouth and on the collar of his shirt. There is no hiding what we’ve done. I’m pretty sure I heard a rip, too, when he was going at my dress.

He opens his mouth and I hope it’s to ask me to go home with him. To ask me to be his. Anything after what we just shared. This can’t be normal, can it? It feels like my whole world has changed. Before he can say anything, an alarm starts to blare. The lights in the room flash.

“Fucking hell,” he grits out. “It’s the fire alarm.” He pulls me up, fixing my dress for me, but there is a rip down the side. He takes his suit jacket and throws it over my shoulders to cover the torn fabric before dropping to his knees once again and putting my heels on my feet for me. It’s a simple act but it makes my heart flutter.

He rights his own clothes, but he’s still a hot mess. I have to fight a laugh. I don’t want to know what I look like right now or I’d probably die of embarrassment. Though the way Robert keeps stealing peeks at me, he must like what he sees.

Lastly, he picks up my purse from the floor. I take it from him and tuck it under my arm. “Let’s get you out of here and make sure everything is okay.” I nod in agreement as he leads me from the room and back down the hallway. When we enter the ballroom, I smell smoke but don’t see any.

“Hell, I thought maybe someone just pulled the alarm, but there really is a fire.” We move faster, getting out of the building quickly as fire trucks are pulling him. “Stay put, angel. I have to check on my family.” He kisses me before I can respond. It’s quick but soft and as soon as it begins he’s turning and running back into the building.

I stay put for a long as I can, but he never does come back.

Chapter 1

Winter

Four months later…

I stare at the shiny wedding ring still in its box thinking this was not how I thought I’d be asked for my hand in marriage. I really don’t think I’d given it a thought before now. Still, this isn’t the way I would have pictured it.

Cory and I have gone around and around about this and I know I can’t marry him. It’s wrong on so many levels. For one we don’t love each other like that. We never would. He’s my best friend. He’s the family I never had. Second, I still need to find the man who knocked me up. I’m not sure where to start with that one. I have too many other things on my mind. It’s just another thing on my ever-growing list.

Thinking about him brings a lump to my throat. If it wasn’t for the baby growing inside of me I would have thought it was all a dream. God knows I’ve dreamt of that night over and over again.

I don’t know how long I waited for him but he never came back out. At first, I was scared that something happened, but Cory told me everyone was fine and the building had been cleared. Only a few people had to be taken to the hospital for smoke inhalation. Cory’s mom being one. He’d had to rush off to the hospital to be with her. That was probably why he hadn’t noticed the state I’d been in that night, disheveled and wearing another man’s jacket. It took me getting sick and finding out I was pregnant for him to piece everything together.

I was so sure Robert and I had shared something special. At least it had felt that way to me. I’d never had a connection with someone like that before. It was why I’d let things go as far as they did.

Does all sex feel that way? I just didn’t know that because I’d never done it before. Still, a part deep inside of me can’t make myself believe that. I’m holding on to some hope that maybe something happened, that he’s out there looking everywhere for me. Though if that were true, Cory would have found him by now.

Cory does not have the same crazy romantic idea in his mind. He is beyond pissed about the whole thing. He thinks some man took advantage of me and I’m pretty sure he’s laying some of the blame on himself. He’s certain some man took advantage of me, but I was a willing participant in every part of what happened.