The Secret Note

I sit up and cover my ears. “La la la no!”

He sits up and grabs my wrists and pulls my hands off my ears. “I love you.”

I shriek. “No! Too soon! Too soon!”

He laughs. “I love you!”

“No!”

“I do! I love you with all my heart and soul!”

I shriek again. “No! I’m melting! I’m melting!” But I must admit, my heart feels like it’s about to burst. My soul is flying around the room. I feel happier than I’ve ever felt in my entire life. I sigh and smile down at him and then say, simply, “I love you, too.” Oh, the smile on my beautiful Ben’s face! It’s slaying me. Giving me eternal life. With a huge smile, I add, “With all my heart and soul.”

“Good. Glad it’s mutual.”

“Oh, it’s very mutual.”

Ben bites his lower lip. “Let’s move in together. Fuck it. We now officially love each other, right? We spend so much time together there’s no point in us having two places. And I, for one, am never gonna love someone else, ever, ever, ever—so let’s do this.”

I twist my mouth but remain mute.

He slides his palms on either side of my rib cage. “Kaylee, I love you. I want you. The minute you stop wanting me back, you’ll go. But until then, move in with me.”

I can’t help smiling like a goof. “Okay.”

His face lights up. “Seriously?”

I nod. “Let’s do it. Whose place? Mine or yours?”

He looks euphoric. “I tell you what. If I don’t get the part, then I’ll move in here. But if I do get the part, then I’ll rent us a house on the beach with my big, fat paycheck.”

I bite my lower lip. “Sounds good.” I glance at the clock. “Shit. I’m gonna be late for my class if I don’t get going.”

“Hang on a sec.”

I stop and look at him. My heart is racing.

“Say it one more time, just so I know it wasn’t a dream.”

I smile shyly. “I love you.”

He sighs dramatically. “Best three words in the English language.”

Six

I’m lying on my couch, freaking out. I check my phone again. Will it to ring. Check to see if Ben has texted me. Nothing. I look at the clock again. I’d have thought Ben’s big audition—his fourth callback—would be over by now. He promised to call the minute it was over to tell me how it went. Why hasn’t he called yet? There’s a noise at the door. I look up. Ben.

I hold my breath. I can’t read his face. He might be holding back a smile. And he might be trying to smile through abject misery. “How’d it go?” I ask tentatively.

Defeat. It flickers across his face. “They’re gonna go with another guy.”

I get up and hug him. “Aw, baby. I’m sorry.”

He wraps me in his muscular arms.

“For Trent,” he adds. And then he laughs. “Last minute, they decided to cast me as Gabe.”

I pull back. “What? Oh my God!”

“They’re gonna rewrite Gabe as Australian!”

I whoop with laughter and throw my arms around his neck . . . and then, out of nowhere, burst into tears of relief. I squeeze him tight and he wraps his arms around me and holds me and we stay like that for a very long time.

“The paycheck’s not much,” he says after a moment. “I won’t be able to afford renting us that house on the beach just yet.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I say. I wipe my eyes. “I don’t care about that. I just . . .” Emotion floods me again. I press my lips together, unable to continue.

Ben’s beautiful face contorts with concern. He wipes my tears. “What is it, sweetheart?”

I gather myself. “I was so damned nervous waiting here for you, Ben. And not about this part, specifically. There will be other parts for you. Bigger parts. I was nervous because I knew you wanted this part so badly—and I desperately want you to be happy. Because I . . .” I swallow hard. I know I’ve already told Ben I love him. But in this moment, it’s suddenly clear to me what the words mean. That his happiness means even more to me than my own. “Because I love you more than literally anything,” I whisper, shocking myself.

Ben’s face is the portrait of a man completely bowled over. He lays his palms on my cheeks and kisses me with deep passion, making me melt like a puddle.

“Marry me,” he whispers, his eyes ablaze. “Marry me, Kaylee Rae. Be my wife.”

My mouth hangs open. I can’t speak.

He smiles. “Do you want anyone else?”

“Of course not.”

“Then give me one good reason why we shouldn’t make this official.”

I shake my head. “Ben, we’ve been together for three months.”

“And seven years.”

I make a face like that’s patently ridiculous.

His dark eyes are amused.

“I’m not a believer in marriage. You know that.”