Ball & Chain (Cut & Run 8)

“Fuck you, O’Flaherty!” Ty shouted. “I know what loyalty is, and that man is like a father to me! If you had a father you gave a shit about, you’d be doing the same thing!”

Nick’s jaw clenched and he took a step back, putting himself out of Ty’s reach. Or perhaps putting Ty out of his reach. His next words were whispered. “I’m tired of risking my life for you, Ty.”

Ty staggered back as if Nick had shoved him. He couldn’t form a response even as Nick turned and stalked out of the room, slamming the door behind him and rattling the ancient glass panes in the windows. They watched him go, all of them stunned into silence.

Kelly shifted his weight, and the floorboard creaked under his boot. Ty tore his eyes away from the doorway to blink at Kelly and then Zane.

“Oh God, did I really just say that?” Ty asked, voice hushed.

Kelly cleared his throat, looking indecisive. He finally took a step for the door. “I’ll go after him.”

“No,” Ty held out a hand. “No, I . . . I’ll go talk to him.”

He stood rooted to the spot for a few more seconds before he seemed to work up the courage to head for the door. He closed it gently behind him, leaving Zane and Kelly in the uncomfortable silence left behind.

Kelly glanced at Zane and smiled weakly. “Good times, huh?”

Zane shook his head. “I hope Nick kicks his ass.”

“Me too.” Kelly frowned. “Maybe we should . . .”

“Follow them?” Zane provided. “Yeah, definitely.”

Ty found Nick sitting on the very edge of the cliff, perched on a rocky outcropping that didn’t threaten to shoot him over the edge like the grassy parts did, his feet dangling over the side. Ty hesitated to move closer, finally fighting past his innate fear of falling in order to edge up to the cliff and sit. He settled down beside Nick, gravity pulling at his legs, the cold rock beneath him threatening to pitch him over the edge to the rocky sea below.

“I don’t guess we could have a heart-to-heart somewhere less likely to end in you pushing me off a cliff, could we?” he asked wryly.

Nick didn’t answer. He was gazing past his own feet at the whitecaps glowing in the moonlight.

Ty was finding it hard to breathe against the tightness in his chest. They’d had their fights over the years, some of them just as nasty as the words they’d exchanged minutes ago. Nick always gave as good as he got, though, so him just walking away scared Ty. Truly scared him. Everything about Nick had felt different since they’re returned home from deployment, and Ty didn’t know what to do about it.

“As soon as it came out of my mouth, I tried to take it back,” he whispered.

Nick lifted his head and sighed.

“Your father doesn’t deserve for you to care. I know that, Nick. I know that. And you’ve always been there for me, even when you probably should have told me to go f**k myself.”

Nick didn’t respond. He ducked his head again and swiped his hand over his chin.

“I was wrong,” Ty tried. “I know what you’ve done. I know what you are. I was . . . are you even listening to me?”

“You’re an ass**le, Tyler,” Nick said. “But I’ve known that from the start. That’s the reason we’ve stayed friends.”

“Because we’re both ass**les?”

“Yep. You really think anything you say can hurt my feelings?”

“Well . . .”

Nick huffed and shook his head.

“I haven’t been a very good friend to you,” Ty said, almost choking on the sentiment. “Not nearly as good as you deserve.”

Nick finally looked at him. “You earned my loyalty when you sat beside me on that bus to Parris Island. And every day after. So the times you want to be a complete cockholster like tonight, I tend to overlook it.”

Ty tried hard not smile. He snorted quietly, then bit his lip so he wouldn’t laugh. “I appreciate that.”

“Shut up.”

“Okay.”

They sat in silence, both staring out at the water, both knowing the conversation wasn’t done. When Nick spoke again, he didn’t preface it with anything, not even an audible inhalation.

“You need to stop drinking in front of Zane.”

Ty nodded slowly. “I realized that the other night. Did he say something to you?”

“No. But it’s hard for him regardless, and you’re a sloppy drunk.”

Ty nodded again. It wasn’t anything he didn’t already know or hadn’t told himself. He’d needed to hear it from someone else, though. Nick had always been good at that.

The silence threatened to return when Nick chose not to expound on his advice. When he spoke again, he changed tacks faster than Ty usually did.

“My dad is dying.”

Ty glanced at him, struggling with his immediate reaction to the news. Finally, he just went with it. “Good.”

Nick nodded. “That was my first thought, too.”

Understanding finally dawned on Ty. “And you been feeling guilty ever since, right?”

Nick shrugged. “I’ll always feel guilty.”

“Is that what’s been going on with you? I know you have Kelly now, but . . . if you need to talk about it, I’m still here. I’m still here.”

“He needs a new liver,” Nick said, still staring off into the water. “And I’m the only one in the family who might be a match to his blood type and size.”

“He wants a part of your liver?” Ty blurted. “Well, f**k him!”

Nick laughed.

Ty wavered between outrage and fear. “Are you going to do it?”

“I don’t know.”

“Nick . . .”

“If I don’t do it,” Nick started, his voice low and calm like it almost always was, “I might as well be putting a gun to his head and pulling the trigger. That’ll be on me, not him.”

“No one would blame you.”

Nick didn’t answer. He stared off into the night for several minutes. Both of them were silent. Then Nick lowered his head and brought his hand up to his eyes. His broad shoulders slumped like he was finally bending under a huge weight, and he gasped for air.

Ty scrambled closer to him, the cliff’s edge always in the back of his mind, and put his arm around Nick. Nick collapsed into him, and Ty cradled his head against his chest, beginning the rocking motion that always brought him comfort when he needed it.

It wasn’t the first time one of them had held the other when he broke down like this, and it probably wouldn’t be the last.