Tainted Bastard (Tainted Knights 4)

I untangled her fingers from my shirt and brought her hand to my lips. “I’m right behind you,” I promised.

Chapter 10

Roanna

For the first time since realizing my talent for music, I walked onstage not so I could become another person and leave behind my nightmares for a short time. I walked out there for Sin. I sang and performed for him and only him.

Up there, I could show him everything I didn’t want him to see when I was back to being the lost girl who was scared of the big, bad boogeyman. There was nothing scary about Sin—with the exception of how terrified I was of how I felt for him.

He stayed to the side of the stage, right beside our security that kept the crowd at bay. And like a moth to a flame, I kept gravitating back there to be closer to him.

All evening, I’d been lost in my own head, anxious and scared after the way Todd the bartender had asked me to suck his dick, then offered me twenty bucks when I ignored him. I should have punched him in the face or kicked him in the balls or broken his ribs like my soul sisters did in my defense. Instead, all I did was retreat into myself, becoming the lost and scared girl Sicko Stan turned me into.

I was still lost, still agonizing over having to go and perform like nothing happened, when Sin showed up. The instant his hand touched me, my fear and anxiety began to retreat, and I could finally draw a big enough breath without feeling as if I was going to vomit.

When the last song ended, my throat felt like I’d swallowed liquid fire. The lights went down, and I left the stage.

Sin was waiting for me there and took my hand as soon as I reached him. I linked my fingers through his, walking beside him back to the green room. A cooler full of ice and bottles of water was already waiting on the table between the two couches for us, along with a pot of hot water and everything I needed to make a mug of the tea that soothed my throat.

“Holy shit, that was a good show,” London laughed as she and Genesis plopped down on the couch across from Sin and me.

“Yeah, we definitely don’t need to replace Peyton when we can perform like that with just the four of us,” Genesis said with a smirk. “Crazy bitch did us a favor when she pissed Harris off and we had a good enough reason to get rid of her.”

“I still miss that apartment her pops paid for, though,” Aubree grumbled as she twirled a drumstick around her fingers, propping her feet up on the table and burrowing her ass more comfortably in the chair.

“Yeah, I miss the shower we had. It was perfect. But the place we live in now is decent,” Genesis told her.

“When we hit it big like the TK fuckers, we’ll buy a house big enough to suit us all,” London promised. “Then we can throw parties every night, and Genesis can slut it up all she wants in her own room because we won’t have to share anymore.”

I fixed my tea, shaking my head mutely at the three of them. After Peyton nearly cost us our contract with Harris, we kicked her ass out of the band, and she kicked us to the curb. We found a small two-bedroom apartment we could afford without having to get second jobs. I didn’t mind sharing or the lack of space as long as Peyton was gone from our lives. She nearly fucked us over with her obsession with Harris and trying to make him jealous, forcing him back from his vacation with Lucy Thornton the previous summer.

We hadn’t seen her since, especially after Emmie Armstrong blacklisted her, and no other bands would even consider her playing bass for them.

Now Harris was engaged to the beautiful Lucy and planning their wedding, and we were doing better than ever. With Peyton out of our lives, Natalie Cutter was starting the paperwork to become our manager since Annabelle Brockman had given her assent.

“I’m starving,” Genesis complained. “Let’s go eat. I don’t want to hang around here tonight.”

“We ate like two hours ago,” London complained. “And you ordered half the menu because Harris was footing the bill. You’re turning into a cow, Gen.”

“You’re just jealous I can eat all I want and not have to puke it back up or work myself to death in the gym like you do,” Genesis snipped back.

Sensing a fight about to erupt between them, I lifted my hands at them to stop.

“Ladies,” Sin’s deep voice growled. “Chill the fuck out.”

“I don’t want to go eat,” London whined.

“So, don’t. You can drink while we eat,” Sin told her with a roll of his eyes. “Stop being a whining bitch, London.”

I sat back with my mug of tea, hiding my grin as I lifted it to my lips.

“Why do we let you hang with us again?” she groused.

“I don’t hang out with you. I hang out with Ro. Don’t give a shit if you’re around or not.” He pulled out his phone. “Where do you want to eat, sweet girl?”

I leaned into his shoulder, looking at his phone’s screen. He brought up a few restaurants within walking distance, and I pointed to the one I liked the best.

“Don’t you ever eat meat?” he asked, but he already knew the answer. In the year and a half he’d known me, I hadn’t eaten it once in front of him. It wasn’t like I was a hardcore vegan. I still ate dairy and even eggs at times, but I hadn’t eaten meat since I was eleven.