Tainted Bastard (Tainted Knights 4)

“I’m sorry.”

I tossed my hair out of my face. “Take me home, Sin. I’m tired.” I suddenly felt weak and exhausted. I didn’t even want to be around him right then. I just wanted to go home, take a long, hot shower, and curl up in my bed.

“Are you still coming back to my place?” he asked, hopeful.

“You still going to Vegas tomorrow?” I was more than a little hopeful myself.

“Yeah, I am.”

I shook my head. “Then no. I want to go home. You either drive me, or I’ll go with the girls. I don’t really give a fuck how I get there right now.”

“Don’t be mad at me,” he muttered, still not moving from where he was crouched beside my seat. “I’m just going drinking with my friends, Ro. I’m going to blow some money on booze and the poker tables. I’ll be back Sunday night.”

I shrugged, dropping my head back against the seat. “Have fun,” I choked out, my throat killing me.

“Babe, don’t be like this.”

“Like what?” I demanded, fighting tears. “Hurt? Upset that you kept this from me? Sorry, I can’t turn it off at your command. It doesn’t work like that. Go. Have fun this weekend. But don’t expect me to be okay about it.”

“You have girls’ nights with the Blondes all the time, Ro,” he reminded me. “I don’t get pissed at you.”

“And I tell you about it well in advance, dickhead. I’m not mad you’re going out with your fucking friends. I’m mad you didn’t say anything for what—weeks?” His silence only pissed me off more. “Months? You’ve been planning this for months and didn’t say a word. Nice.”

“Fine. You don’t want me to go, I won’t fucking go.” He tried to cup my face. “I’ll stay home, and we can stay at my place all weekend. Just stop being mad at me.”

“Oh, fuck you! You think I even want to be around you right now?” I slapped his hand away. “Just take me home.”

Standing, he raked his hands through his hair. “Fuck!” he bellowed and walked around to the driver’s side.

I closed the door and put on my seat belt, kicking my gym bag out of my way with the same aggression I wanted to use to kick him in the face.

As soon as he pulled into traffic, he reached for my hand. I let him take it, let him place it on his thigh and rub his fingertips over the back of it. His touch, even when it was this innocent, felt so damn good.

I wasn’t ashamed to admit I was addicted to the feel of his skin on mine in any shape or form. I’d gotten so spoiled from it, most nights I couldn’t even sleep until he’d spent hours rubbing my back. I never had to ask, making me think he was just as addicted to touching me as I was to his hands on me.

“I really won’t go if you don’t want me to,” he told me as he stopped for a red light a few blocks away.

I closed my eyes, turning my head to the window so he wouldn’t see the tear that spilled down my cheek. “No. I want you to go.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I just didn’t want you to tell me no.”

“You’re a grown-ass man, Sin. You can do whatever the hell you want. It just would have been nice to have a heads-up.”

He lifted my hand to his lips, kissing my palm. I clenched my eyes shut, equal parts hot and cold at the soft touch of his mouth on my flesh. Sin had this ability to make me crave him, and I allowed myself to fall deeper and deeper for him.

Now, I realized just how much control I’d given him over me.

I thought telling him I loved him would give him too much power, but now it was glaringly obvious he had it regardless.

I felt almost a physical pain as I started putting up all the walls I’d let him tear down. Fuck, I’d helped him take a wrecking ball to a few of them, but it was time to rebuild.

“Stop it, Ro,” his dark voice commanded.

“Stop what?” I choked out.

“You’re shutting me out again.”

He was right, but there was no stopping it.