Tainted Forever (Tainted Knights 5)

I shook my head. “I’m not hungry, but thanks.”

As soon as they were out of the room, Alicia turned to Jace. “You told her?” she hissed.

With Kassa and Gray gone, Alicia suddenly looked very tired. Now that she had no one to have to pretend for, I could see behind the mask she put on for the world. Alicia was in pain even right then, and I wanted to cry.

Jace sat there, staring straight ahead, his jaw clenched, his throat working.

“Please don’t be mad at him,” I told her before she could start yelling at her adopted son. “He needed me.”

“I’m not mad,” she said, tears filling her eyes. “If anything, I’m relieved. He’s been stressed out ever since I told him, and that was the last thing I wanted. That’s why I didn’t want him or the others to know at all. But if you know—”

“Jace, you want turkey or ham?” Kassa called, sticking her head out of the kitchen.

“Both,” he yelled back. “No tomatoes.”

“I know, I know,” she complained, stepping back into the kitchen.

Alicia looked at the spot where Kassa just was, her eyes so sad I had to lower my gaze before I lost the control I had on my tears. “Please don’t tell her.”

“What do the doctors say? Can they treat this?” There had to be something they could do. I didn’t want to lose Alicia like I lost my mom. I didn’t want Jace to have to go through that. No matter what was going on between us, I loved him. His pain was mine, and I would have given anything for him not to have to say goodbye to the only mom he’d ever really known.

“I’ve already started chemo, and we’re doing some experimenting with a few new drugs, trying to find the right dosages. The last couple weeks have been a roller coaster because it’s a guessing game what will work without making me so sick I can’t even get out of bed.”

“She doesn’t want me to stay,” Jace muttered, slouching beside me, his hands balled into fists as he glared at the ceiling.

“You have the winter tour to prepare for,” Alicia reminded him. “Besides, you’ve been under my feet for too long as it is. If you ask me if I’m okay one more time, I’m going to strangle you.”

I lifted my hands, drawing both their attention back to me. “I think Jace has a right to be concerned, Alicia. You can’t expect him to be okay with being thousands of miles away when you’re in this condition. Chemo…” Fuck, I hated that word. Just speaking it aloud made me shudder. “Chemo will drain you, make you so sick you can’t lift your head.”

“This is nonnegotiabl

e. I’m not interrupting his life and career because I’m sick.”

Jace muttered a curse that had her swatting at him, while I just sat there, trying to find a compromise that would make them both comfortable. But before I could come up with anything, Gray and Kassa came out carrying plates of sandwiches and a bowl of fruit.

Kassa handed Alicia one and the older woman gave her a thankful smile, but I could see the way her face turned slightly green. “Thanks, sweetheart.”

Jace took his plate with a nod in thanks. Lifting a half of one of his sandwiches, he put it to my lips. “Eat, baby.”

I wasn’t hungry until I bit into the sandwich. I took it from him, eating it slowly while the others talked about the funeral earlier. Cash and his father hadn’t said a single word to each other. Nothing strange about that as the two hadn’t spoken in years as far as I knew. The Mathias’s hadn’t even acknowledged Amara, though, and she was pregnant with their granddaughter.

“Speaking of babies,” Alicia commented. “How is Hayat doing? I’ve been seeing all kinds of beautiful pictures Harris sends Jace.”

“She’s growing like a weed,” I told her with a genuine smile as I remembered my goddaughter. “I see her every few days, and I can’t get enough. She’s started smiling at everyone, and every time I see those dimples flashing at me, I fall in love with her all over again.”

“And Lucy? Has she recovered fully yet?”

“She’s been good for a few weeks now, but you wouldn’t know that because Harris treats her like she’s made of glass.”

Alicia laughed. “As he should. That boy knows how to treat his wife as she deserves.”

“Is that a crack at me?” Gray grumbled.

“It’s a crack at men in general,” his aunt told him with a roll of her eyes. “We all know you treat Kassa like a princess.”

“Actually, since we’re on the subject of babies,” Kassa said, her voice shaky with nerves. “Well, the thing is…”

“What my little butterfly is trying to say is that we are pregnant,” Gray announced. “We weren’t sure if we should tell anyone yet because she’s only a few weeks, and after what happened last time… Yeah. But since we’re all together now, we wanted to tell you in person, Alicia.”