Tainted Forever (Tainted Knights 5)

My sister gasped, but it was the flash of pain on Kin’s face that told me I’d fucked up yet again. “No thank you. I’d rather not spend the rest of my life with a man who can’t even tell me what’s going on in his life, let alone one who treats me like an afterthought.”

“Baby, that’s not—”

“You should go,” she told me, backing away. “This—us—it’s over.”

“No!” I bellowed and stalked toward her, knowing if I could just hold her, we could figure all of this stuff out. “Kin, you’re not going to throw away the last three years like it’s nothing. We belong together.”

“I used to think so, but I was wrong. Go, Jace. I don’t want you here.” She turned her back on me just as I grasped her arm. She jerked at my touch, trying to shrug off my hold. But I knew—I fucking knew—if I released her, I wasn’t going to get through to her.

“Kin, just listen to me. Please.”

Caleb’s huge hand grabbed my wrist and he squeezed, forcing me to release her. “She doesn’t want you here, man. You need to go. Give her time to process all of this. She’s hurting, and you need to give her some space.”

“I’m not leaving without her,” I bit out, pushing past him so I could get to her before it was too late. “Kin, baby, hear me out.”

“There’s nothing you have to say that I want to hear, Jace. You’ve made your choices, and now I’ve made mine. Go home.”

“Not without you. We can figure this out. I’ll propose to you more romantically. You can cancel the lease on your apartment and move in with me. Whatever you want, just don’t do this.”

“It’s too late.”

Chapter 4

Kin

Tears filled Jace’s eyes, and my heart felt like it was going to explode from the agony I was in. In that moment, I wanted to give in, tell him I forgave him. But I kept my mouth shut, turned my back on him, and walked away.

As much as I loved him, it was time I started respecting myself more. Staying with Jace, after his not putting me first yet again, was not respecting myself. I should have broken things off when I first thought he was cheating. Instead, I thought we could work through our problems, that our love would overcome any obstacle.

Now, I knew it couldn’t.

The panic I saw in his eyes when I brought up the subject of marriage told me plain as day where we both stood. We were miles apart and not side by side like I’d always thought.

And then for him to throw it out there, as if it was putting him out but he would make the sacrifice and marry me, was like a slap to the face.

“Kin!” he roared as I started up the stairs. “Baby, don’t leave me. I’ll fix this. I promise you, I will. Just… Don’t leave me.”

I couldn’t speak, could barely see, for the tears that were choking me. In the span of twenty-four hours, my life had turned upside down. Now I felt lost, broken, and completely alone in the world.

“Kin!”

“Jace, we should go.” Kassa tried to reason with her brother. “Caleb is right. You should give her a few days, let her clear her head.”

I pressed my fist to my chest as I opened the door to my bedroom. My head was completely clear. For the first time in a long time, I saw everything as if with new eyes. If I stayed with Jace, that meant putting myself second for the rest of my life because it was obvious Jace was never going to put me first.

That hurt most of all. It was why we’d broken up the first time when he went to California. Back then, I didn’t want to stop him from taking the contract at First Bass. Even then, I’d loved him enough to want what was best for him, and I knew it was a once-in-a-lifetime offer. I was happy for him and the band. But all he could see was that I was too young to understand the difficulties of having a long-distance relationship. He broke up with me and left me to deal with the death of my mother all on my own.

This whole thing with Eden… He couldn’t even confide in me something as important as finding his long-lost sister. I would have been happy for him, I would have helped him any way I could, and I never would have breathed a word about it to Kassa. Instead, he kept it all to himself, letting me think so many awful things—

No, that was my own fault. I let him treat me like that. I let him lie, even when I thought he was cheating.

I was pathetic. Wanting to salvage a relationship even though I thought he was fucking around behind my back. I despised other women who did that, and realizing just how far I’d sunk in the hope of saving our relationship made me physically ill.

“Kin!” he roared my name again, and I stilled at the sound of his feet pounding up the stairs.

“Jace, she doesn’t want you here,” Kassa yelled after him.

“Kin, I love you.”