Wanting Shaw (Rockers' Legacy Book 5)

I started to ease around them to go into the house. I hadn’t seen Shaw in a few days, not since I’d shown up at her photo shoot over the weekend to keep an eye on her since she was supposed to be the only female model in an ad with at least five guys. Vi had told me about the shoot in passing, and I’d turned on Shaw’s location sharing a couple weeks before when I’d gone to her house with Dad to watch the Alabama game with Uncle Axton.

She’d left her phone lying around and I knew her passcode, so it didn’t take much to share her location with my own phone. Maybe it made me seem like a stalker, but she wouldn’t give me the time of day. And time was what I needed to prove to her that we belonged together.

“Wait,” Ma said before I could reach the front door. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, but I’m going to need you to make another trip to the airport for me.”

I swallowed my groan and forced a smile, silently telling myself I would see Shaw at dinner, and then I’d get her to take a walk with me afterward so we could have some quiet time together to talk. “Who am I picking up?”

“Luca.”

I frowned at the look that crossed her face, but it was there and then gone so fast, it made me question if it had even been there at all. She gave me a quick, tight hug, then urged me off the porch. “Thanks, Jagger. Drive carefully.”

I glanced back at the house one more time, longing to see Shaw making my chest ache, but I climbed into my car and drove back to LAX.

Unlike my grandfather, Luca wasn’t waiting when I pulled back into the arrivals lane. I parked and then texted him to see if his plane had landed yet. Just as I hit send, I saw him walking toward me.

Dressed in black slacks and a button-up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, Luca had a gym bag tossed over his shoulder as he glanced around then down at his phone. When he lifted his head, he finally spotted me and jogged toward my car. Opening the door, he dropped down into the passenger seat with a groan, and I just sat there, unsure if I was really seeing my cousin or a ghost of the guy I’d grown up with.

There were dark circles under his eyes, and his face looked gaunt, as if he hadn’t been eating right. Which was a bad thing for him since he needed to keep up his muscle mass for football.

“School must be hell if you look like death warmed over, man,” I commented as I pulled out of the pickup lane and headed back to Santa Monica. “You sick or something?”

“Or something,” he muttered. Dropping his phone into one of the cupholders, he stretched out his long legs. “How’s Vi?”

I shrugged as I changed lanes. “I haven’t seen her today. I’ve been going back and forth to the airport for Ma. But she seemed fine the last time I talked to her on the phone.” Fine, but still kind of emotionless. I’d put it down to missing Luca. As hard as it was for me to go without seeing Shaw on a daily basis, I figured it was a hundred times worse for her and Luca to be so far away from each other for so long.

I heard Luca blow out a frustrated breath, and I glanced at him as he scrubbed his hands over his face. “I thought you were coming home Sunday and staying until tonight,” I commented as I turned my gaze back on the road.

“Something came up,” he muttered. “I still have to go back tonight, but I have to see Violet. Even if it’s for a minute, I need—” He cut himself off abruptly, and when he didn’t go on after a few moments, I chanced another glance his way.

“I guess it’s hell missing the other half of your soul so much,” I told him sympathetically.

“You don’t even know,” he said with a pained exhale. “I miss her so fucking much I can’t breathe, man.”

I got that.

We didn’t talk much on the drive to our uncle’s house. Traffic wasn’t too bad since most people had already done their traveling for the holiday, and it wouldn’t be until the following morning when everyone started their insane Christmas shopping with all the huge sales.

By the time I pulled up outside the house once again, there was zero room in the driveway, and cars were parked all the way down to the Cages’ house. I expected Luca to be out of the car before I’d even hit the brakes, but he was still in his seat when I turned off the engine and reached for my door.

I glanced over at him and then had to do a double take. He looked physically ill, his face gray and sweat popping up on his brow and upper lip. His hand shook as he lifted it to open the door, but then he just stopped and looked at the house as if he was in pure agony.

“What’s the matter with you?” I demanded, concerned for him, but at the same time getting pissed he was delaying me from seeing Shaw. I just wanted to hear her voice, listen to her laugh, watch her smile. Even if it wasn’t to or at or even for me, I just wanted to be near her so I could soak up all that beautiful light that shone out of her baby blues.

“My fucking life is on the line right now, Jags. Shut the hell up and give me a second, all right, man?”

I closed my door and leaned back, watching him closer. His throat bobbed, causing me to wonder if he was fighting his emotions or if he was about to blow chunks all over the front of my car.

“Are you going to tell me what’s up with you, Luca?” I asked after a few minutes of his anxiety-charged silence.

“I can’t. I have to tell her first before I tell anyone else.” He scrubbed his hands over his face, wiping away the sweat and maybe a few tears as well. “I just… The longer I sit here, the longer I can pretend that I didn’t fuck up my entire world.”

“That’s the pussy way out,” I told him pointedly and saw him flinch. “Man up. Owning what you did is the first step in the right direction, and since you obviously can’t do that until you see Vi, then you need to get your ass moving. The longer you sit here, the less time you have to make things right before you have to go back to Alabama.”

He swallowed hard, his eyes flashing from one shade of brown to another so rapidly I couldn’t keep up, but he nodded. “You’re right. I can fix this. I will fix it.”

Opening the door, he unfolded his huge body from my car and walked toward the front porch while I followed. Luca pressed the doorbell, and we waited for someone to answer.