Atonement (Angel's Halo MC 5)

Four Weeks Ago

Quinn

If the parking lot of the Angel’s Halo MC’s clubhouse was anything to go by, then every club member and their family was in attendance at the engagement party for Jet Hannigan and Felicity Bolton. I wasn’t surprised. Jet had once been the MC’s president, was the son of the last president, and the brother-in-law of the current pres. And Flick, she was loved by everyone.

It was for her that I had come tonight. Aggie had closed the diner down early so she could cater for the occasion, so I had the night off. Even the girls at Paradise City, the strip club that Kelli worked at, was off tonight, so for once my roommate was free to come to a club event. This was going to be her first since she and Colt had gone public with their relationship, but she didn’t look any happier to be there than I was.

“I’m so getting drunk,” she muttered half under her breath as she turned off the old model car and pushed her head into the back of her seat as she glared at the clubhouse.

Loud music was already blaring and the front doors were wide open as people came and went from the warehouse that had been revamped decades ago into the MC’s clubhouse. The building was huge, had over ten bedrooms, and was where my sisters spent most of their time.

Gritting my teeth at the thought of the three bitches I regretfully shared DNA with, I nodded. “Sounds like a plan. I’m gonna get drunk, too.”

Kelli snapped her head around at my last words, surprise shining out of her eyes, even in the dim light of her car. “Okay, what’s wrong?” she demanded after a minute of looking yet unable to find what was going on written on my face.

“Nothing,” I lied.

“Bullshit.” My friend turned in her seat and grasped my chin between her thumb and forefinger, forcing me to meet her gaze.

Dammit.

Kelli and I had clicked from the minute we had met. After she had moved in with me, she had gotten to know me in no time at all, and vice versa. We were closer than I had ever dreamed of being with any one of my three sisters. The only problem was she could read me easily, probably even more so than Colt could.

“Quinn.” Kelli released my chin and sighed deeply. “Did one of your sisters say something to you?”

“No,” I assured her honestly. “I haven’t seen any of them in over a week.”

She narrowed her eyes in that dark way I still didn’t completely understand. Where Kelli could read me so easily, I hadn’t gotten nearly as accomplished at the reverse. My newest friend had secrets, but something deep in my gut told me neither one of us was ready for her to share them.

“Okay, so not one of the cunt parade. Was it Raider?”

I unbuckled my seatbelt, avoiding answering her. Raider had come in for lunch that afternoon and sat as far from my section as he possibly could. I had forced my attention on work, getting people their food, refilling drinks. Nevertheless, every few minutes, I had found myself looking back to where Raider was eating his sandwich and laughing with the two sheep that had left their own table to join him.

When he had left, one of them had gone with him. I had seen him kiss her cheek before she had gotten into her car, and then followed him in the direction of the clubhouse. I had known what was going to happen, that they were going to fuck.

Like it always did, my heart had broken a little more. However, in that moment, I had realized something.

Raider Hannigan was never going to want me. Not ever.

The thing was, I didn’t even know why he wouldn’t give me a chance—why I wasn’t good enough. He seemed to barely tolerate me at times. Of course that should have scared me off, but apparently, I was a masochist and a glutton for rejection, because my damn heart still wept for him.

It was time to move on, though. I saw that clear as day now. Hence the need to get so drunk I didn’t remember my own name in the morning.

“Quinn,” Kelli called after me when I got out of the car. She jumped out and slammed her door. Catching up to me before I could get more than a few cars away, she grasped my arm. “Why?”

I frowned at her question, confused by it. “Why, what?”

She crossed her arms over her breasts and cocked her head to the side ever so slightly, analyzing me. She was beautiful, and I wanted to hate her for being so damn gorgeous. “Why do you love him?”

I shrugged. I had been in love with Raider since before I understood what love really was, so maybe it was just some stupid crush that had gotten out of hand. Regardless, I knew the difference between loving someone and being in love with them. I loved Colt, but I was in love with Raider. “I don’t know how to answer that. It’s not any one big thing that made me fall for him, but a million small ones.”

“Okay, but how do you know he’s the one?”

I just stood there, unable to find the words to explain it to her. No one had ever made me feel the way Raider did. It was pure lunacy to feel what I felt when I knew it was all one-sided, yet it wasn’t something I could turn off. Though I knew I had to.

“All right, fine. That’s a really loaded question.” She waved her hands in the air then put them on her hips. “What I really want to know … What I think you should really be asking yourself is: what if you’ve built this all up in your head? Maybe—and I’m only saying maybe here—but maybe the reality of this guy isn’t as good as the dream.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but quickly closed it as what she was saying hit me.