How West Was Won (Haven, Texas 7)

“It’s okay, West. I was hurt, but now that I understand—”

He sighed. Long and loud. “I’m starting to think I’m gonna need to carry around a gag.”

“What?” She stared at him in shock.

“You want to let me get this all out before you tell me you understand what I’m trying to say?”

She snatched her hand out of his. “Sorry for trying to make you feel better.”

“Don’t try to make me feel better,” he growled. “I was an ass. You should be making me get down on my knees and grovel.”

Her eyes grew round. “I don’t want you to do that.”

“Good. Cause I don’t intend to.”

“Okay then.” This was a very confusing conversation.

“I carried Lana with me until the other night when a little fairy whose light shines so bright it’s damn near blinding told me she cares about me. And I realized that every time that light shone around me, a little more of that shield I used to protect myself cracked. That Lana’s memory faded just a bit more.”

She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to apologize for that or not. But since she really wasn’t keen on being gagged, she decided it was probably best just to remain quiet.

“And that made me mad. Because despite it being years since Lana died, I still wasn’t ready to let her go. I wasn’t ready to move on.”

She opened her mouth to tell him that he didn’t have to when he placed his palm gently over her lips. “Quiet, girl.”

Huh. She preferred sunshine to girl. And she definitely preferred the way he spoke when he called her sunshine. In a soft, tender way. Girl was kind of said on a growl.

“You were a threat to the way I like my life to run. I don’t like surprises. I definitely don’t like change. When Mia painted a wall in the living room, I was angry for days. And I won’t go into how I was when she came to live with us.”

Yikes. Poor Mia.

“So I spent most of my time avoiding you. Which became a bit of a nuisance considering how often you were over here.”

She winced. Making a nuisance of herself. As usual. Her brother was right.

“Uh-uh, no you don’t.” He gently cupped her chin in the palm of his hand and raised her face up. “What was that thought?”

“I’m over here too often, aren’t I? Annoying everyone.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Annoying everyone? Baby, I’m a member of this family and I swear to God, they were all ready to have me drawn and quartered when they learned I was the reason you haven’t been around the past few days. Everyone here loves you.”

They do?

“I don’t ever want to hear you call yourself a nuisance again, understand me? Is that what he says to you?”

“Yes,” she whispered. “It’s what he said the other night. ‘Have you been over at the neighbors making a nuisance of yourself again, Felicity?’”

“You have to know that everything he said to you was designed to hurt you. To make you feel small so he could feel big and control you.”

“I know, but sometimes the things he says are true.”

“None of what he said was true. You’re not a nuisance, sunshine. And I’m sorry for the things I did that reinforced what he spat at you.”

“You didn’t know.”

“I do now,” he whispered. “I want to make things right between us. Let me do that. Let me look after you.”

She should refuse. She knew Jake looked out for all the single woman in town who didn’t have anyone to act as a guardian. She could be one of the single women. Maybe. Then she looked at West. Really looked at him. And she saw the pain in his eyes. He hadn’t been able to help Lana. He hadn’t been able to save her. For a man as protective as West, that must have been hell. It had obviously been eating him alive for years.