Cole's Mistake (Haven, Texas 8)

“You can,” he soothed. “I’m not doubting that. But you need to sleep too, Julian. Let me guard you both tonight. Let me look out for both of you.”

The other man just looked at him. “Don’t fuck this up.”

He wasn’t quite sure if Julian was talking about watching over them or everything.

Cole opened his eyes.

He hadn’t really been sleeping. He couldn’t help but feel this sense of impending doom. Of danger. As though something bad was coming.

So, when the tall, broad man, dressed in just boxers and a tank top, strode past him towards the front door, he already knew who it was. He sat slowly. “Julian? Everything okay?”

Julian froze. Then turned towards him. There was a moment of silence. Then the big man shook his head.

“No? Everything isn’t okay?” Cole stood. He’d stripped down to his boxers and had found a blanket in the hall closet.

“Forgot you were there. Was half-asleep, shit. Forgot you were there. How could I forget you were there?”

There was anguish in the other man’s voice.

“Julian. It’s okay.”

“Should have sensed you. Should have known you were there. How can I protect her when I forgot you were even there?” He placed his head in his hands, letting out a deep groan that was filled with pain.

Cole had had enough. He couldn’t handle anymore. He approached slowly, like one might do with an injured animal. But he couldn’t stand by while someone he cared about was hurting. Someone he loved.

He’d loved the two of them for years. Maybe even before they’d spent that night together. He’d fallen for Keira first. All the times she’d made him smile. The late nights they’d spent together working. They’d both dragged him out of the office for a drink. Made him take the time to have fun. Things between the three of them had been building up for months before that night.

So, yeah, he loved him. But in his fucked-up mind, he’d turned that love into something else. A business transaction. Julian was right. They would have been his dirty little secret. Pampered, cherished, protected, but still something less. He would have tainted them.

And right then, he saw how it never would have worked. Not back then. He would have fucked it all up.

Christ, man. Don’t fuck it up now.

“Julian. Easy, man. You were asleep. You forgot I was here. It’s not a big deal.”

“It is a big deal,” Julian hit his forehead with the palm of his hand. “It’s a big fucking deal! I didn’t protect her! I let him hurt her! I let him hurt my wife! It’s a big fucking deal!”

Cole reached for him as he turned and swung his fist into the wall. “It’s a goddamn fucking big deal, Cole!”

He punched the wall again. And again.

Fuck!

Cole jumped on him, grabbing his arm. He expected resistance. Expected the other man to try to fight him off. But Julian just crumpled to the floor at his touch. He drew into as much of a ball as his large frame would allow.

Cole dropped with him, acting on instinct as he wrapped his arms around the large man. Julian shook. His agony made all the more powerful by its silence.

“It’s okay, Julian. I’m here. I’m here. You can let it out. Let me have it. Give it to me.”

A low sound of pain erupted from the bigger man and Cole drew him tighter against him.

Fuck. Fuck.

He hated this. Hated that he didn’t know how to help him. He rocked him, holding on as much as he could as huge shudders rocked the other man’s body.

“Julian? Cole?”

Cole glanced up to see Keira standing at the entrance to the living room. Shit.