Just For You, Sir (Doms of Decadence 1)
“Derrick—”
“No.” He placed a finger over her mouth. “No talking unless I ask you a direct question. Do you believe I would hurt you?”
Swallowing heavily, she shook her head. “Not intentionally.”
His gaze narrowed. “But you do think I’ll hurt you?”
She glanced away. “I can’t do this, Derrick. I can’t give you what you want and lose who I am in the process. I won’t be a mindless slave here to cater to your every whim.”
“What makes you think that I want that?” he asked.
“You like to be in control.”
“In the bedroom, yes. But you want that too. I can see it in your face, the way you react to my commands. But I don’t want a mindless slave. I love your feisty side. There will be times I push you outside the bedroom. There will be times when I will win. But I know you have your own mind. I respect you. Never think that I don’t.”
He ran his hands over her shoulders, cupping her breasts. “I’m more trouble than I’m worth,” she whispered.
“That’s for me to decide, don’t you think?”
“You don’t know everything.”
“But you’re going to tell me.”
“Do you really think you can keep from bossing me around outside the bedroom?” she asked dryly.
He grinned wickedly. “I don’t believe I ever promised that. Just that I didn’t expect you to blindly do as you’re told. Although that would have its advantages.”
She snorted.
Derrick cupped her cheek, running his thumb over her lips. “I want you here, Jacey. Whatever you tell me won’t change that. I want to help you, to take care of you, to dominate you.”
Grabbing hold of her hand, he drew her over to the sofa, drawing her onto his lap.
“Talk to me, Jacey. Tell me what’s going on with you.”
She remained silent, not knowing where to even begin.
“Do you know, I haven’t felt this way toward a woman since my wife died?” Derrick told her.
“Your wife?” Her eyes widened. He’d never mentioned a wife before.
Derrick nodded, gazing out the window. “It’s been nearly twenty years now since she died. Cara was so young. Naïve and vulnerable. I didn’t take care of her like I should have and she died because of my carelessness. I couldn’t stand if something like that happened to you, Jacey.”
Well, that explained his overprotectiveness. He obviously still carried the guilt of his wife’s death.
“I don’t expect anything from you, Jacey. I don’t want you to feel indebted to me or like you owe me. The last thing I want is to have you fear me. I just have this need to take care of you. Can you let me do that?”
“So you’re trying to appease your guilt over what happened to her by helping me?” she asked, trying to understand. Her head was starting to ache from it all.
“No…well, partly. I loved Cara and I failed her. I won’t fail you.”
“But you don’t love me.”
He gazed down at her. “Maybe not yet. But I care about you in a way I have for no one else since Cara.”
“But you haven’t touched me since I arrived!” she protested. “You haven’t kissed me or held me.”
He looked at her incredulously. “Because you’ve been ill and I haven’t wanted to scare you. Plus, I had hoped you would build up more trust in me.”