I decided not to rise to her negativity and to instead let it go. Dad had taught me how to go to what he called an ‘inner realm.’ Similar to a ‘happy place,’ it was a kind of visualization or daydreaming session, combined with meditation, where you built a location in your mind that seemed as real as any other.
Mine was a field of flowers in a mountain valley on a clear, bright summer day.
On my way out of the house, I called my boyfriend, Kenny, on my cell phone. We hadn’t talked in what felt like forever.
Maybe we could go for coffee when I was done with work for the day. My mom would have likely disagreed with this characterization of writing as “work,” but the writing was what I got paid for. It didn’t pay very well— I would be the first to admit— but it was enough to get by, although just barely.
The inheritance my dad had left me was helping out for now, anyway. I didn’t come from a lot of money, though, unlike Raquel, so it wasn’t going to last forever.
As usual, Kenny didn’t pick up, so I turned off the phone and threw it back in my bag. I had been assigned a signature ring on his phone, so I knew he knew it was me. He was ignoring me more and more lately.
Unless he hadn’t answered because he was with a client or something. Even then, though, in the past, he would have called me back when he could have.
Lately, it seemed that everyone I cared about was ignoring me, and I wasn’t sure what to do about that. I returned my thoughts to my inner realm and had calmed down by the time I reached the elevator.
Realizing that Kenny hadn’t picked up yet again was certainly sending my mind into a tailspin and making me forgetful. I was more than halfway to the park before I thought to look in my bag. Driven by an unknown force, I rummaged around and discovered that I hadn’t brought my notebook.
I must have been distracted by Raquel’s rudeness in addition to Kenny ignoring me. No one in my life seemed to want to pay me much attention lately and I guess it was rubbing off in the form of me not being able to focus on anything else.
I couldn’t write without my notebook, though, so I had to go back to the apartment, but I decided to stop for some caffeine first.
I had planned for a quick trip in and out, but the barista was clearly new and wasn’t very quick about anything. I identified his accent immediately as Northern Irish, Jamie Dornan being a major crush. I had a thing for Irish men. Nothing turned me on faster than that soft, lilting accent.
Cute as the barista was, I got a bit frustrated because I was working on a really good story and was anxious to get back to it. I took a deep breath in and slowly let it out, actively trying to slow my heartbeat. Stress never helped anyone.
I focused on my story and where I was planning to go with it when I got the chance. I was trying to get it clear in my mind to help things go more quickly when I would actually be able to have a pen in my hand.
Finally, I got my latte along with a lilted apology that sounded so much like Jamie it almost made the wait worthwhile.
“Thanks,” I said, and hurried to my car, hoping to dash in and out of the house so I could start my writing.
I was in no way expecting to hear what I did when I got home, though. I thought Raquel had brought a guy over for some afternoon– or, at this point, still morning– delight, and I tried to ignore the creak of mattress springs and grunts of assertion until I realized that those noises were coming from my room.
Raquel was actually fucking someone in my bed!
She had some nerve.
I was used to her bringing men home. She had been screwing regularly since her sophomore year, but usually, she did it in her room and tried to keep things quiet.
Why the hell was she doing it in my room, though?
Plucking up my courage, I went in to kick her and her latest lover— she went through them so fast it was entirely impossible to keep track of them— out of my bed.
But my brain was in no way prepared for what I saw when I opened the door. My once sweet little stepsister was naked and on all fours, biting her lip to keep from screaming. And my boyfriend, who was also naked, towered over her small frame.
He was railing her from behind, demolishing her like the world was ending.