Alphahole (Alphahole Roommates 1)

We both do a goofy pose, him with his tongue out, me with my tongue touching his cheek.

“Perfect!” I say, wiping his cheek with my hand after I capture the moment.

Aiden has a huge smile on his face all the way home.

“We’re about to get to another great part of the evening, Hot Sauce,” I tell him, still skipping.

“I hope it’s not the Carly puking her guts up part of the evening…”

“Nope. I haven’t thrown up drunk since I was fourteen.”

“Don’t break your record tonight, alright?”

“Alright. Don’t you wanna know what part of the evening we’re coming up to?” I ask.

“Yeah, baby. Tell me.”

“Drunken gorilla sex,” I inform.

“Oh really?” Aiden lights a cigarette. “Interesting…”

“Ew. Smoker. Bleck!”

“After that nice meal, peaches, needed a smoke. I don’t smoke much nowadays. My body is my temple.”

“Well, good. And when we get home, I hope you’ll wash your mouth thoroughly before you try to put it on me so I don’t turn green trying to worship at your temple.”

“Not a problem, baby. Tell me about this drunken gorilla sex.”

“Well… it’s like drunken monkey sex, in other words, wild, but it’s sexier than monkeys. Like, Bruno Mars We’ll be Fuckin’ like Gorillas sexy.”

“Got ‘cha.”

“That ex of yours, Aiden? She’s a BFC. Bitch-faced cunt.”

“You’re right about that.”

“She’s going to make my life a living hell.”

“No. No she’s fucking not.”

“She says she will if I don’t back off and let you two continue your story. But, I’ll fight her if I have to. I got no problems ruining my manicure.”

“Carly, I’ll make it so she doe

sn’t fuck with you. Do not give it another thought. No one fucks with you.”

“Okay.”

“That security guard?” he whispers in my ear.

“Yeah?”

“He tried to sniff around the building yesterday.”

“Oh shit.”

“Yeah. I’m having someone meet him in a dark alley tomorrow. He’s gettin’ the shit kicked out of him. He’ll be told he gets anywhere near you or me again, he loses an eye.”