Beyond the Sea

“Why are you standing in the dark?” he asked as he flipped on the light.

I swallowed but didn’t turn around. “I just … um, I think I need to get some air.” I walked to the back door and slipped outside.

“It’s lashing rain out,” Noah called after me, but I didn’t listen. I emerged into the heavy downpour, letting the cold droplets lash my skin. Being out here somehow felt better than being warm and dry inside. I wanted the rain to wash away the bad feeling deep down in my stomach.

A hand touched my shoulder, and I turned quickly. Noah was there, getting soaked along with me. I met his cold, beautiful eyes and wondered for a second if he was even real. I felt like I was trapped in a nightmare, one where I couldn’t tell who was good and who was evil.

“What are you doing out here?” he asked, wet strands of hair dripping down his forehead. He stood perfectly still, seemingly unbothered by the rain.

“I don’t want to be in that house anymore,” I answered honestly.

“Why not?”

“Because there’s badness in the walls. I can feel it.” There was a flash of something in his eyes, but he didn’t respond. I stared at him intently. “Are you a bad person, Noah?”

He blinked, seeming to think about it, before saying, “Not bad, just malformed.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

Noah’s expression intensified, his focus moving over me before he spoke in a faraway voice. “In the middle of the journey of our life, I came to myself within a dark wood where the straight way was lost.”

“Now you’re talking in riddles,” I said in frustration, gesticulating as I stared up into the dark sky. No stars tonight. Just rain. Why did he have to make me so confused?

“It’s from Dante’s Inferno. It tells the story of his journey through the nine circles of hell.”

“Oh,” I breathed. “I never finished reading that. All the descriptions of hell gave me anxiety.”

“You don’t need to concern yourself with hell, Estella. I’m sure you’ll be granted entrance straight into heaven. I, on the other hand, will likely find myself in the 7th circle.”

I took a few steps away from him. Wasn’t the 7th circle the worst one? I couldn’t remember exactly. Still, it struck me as odd that Noah was so fixated on heaven and hell. This was the second time he’d brought it up, and it didn’t make me feel very comforted.

“Can you go back inside?” I asked. “I want to be alone right now.”

“I thought you believed me when I told you I’m not a danger to you.”

“I don’t know what to believe when it comes to you.”

He stepped towards me, closing the distance between us. He reached out and fingered a wet strand of my hair, tilting his head ever so slightly to the side. “That must be very exhilarating for you.”

“It’s very frightening for me,” I countered angrily, not appreciating how his proximity made my breath quicken in a different way now. His eyes crinkled at the edges, indicating his amusement. Did he think this was some kind of game?

“You don’t find me frightening,” he said, a huskiness in his voice.

My back straightened, all my senses on high alert. “Don’t try to tell me how I feel. I know how I feel.”

“Then you must know how your pulse spikes when I touch you,” he murmured, his knuckles gently brushing my neck. He was right. I hated how right he was. My heartbeat sped. Stupid rabbit heart.

“Yes, because you scare me,” I managed, swallowing tightly.

“Are you sure?” he whispered as he leaned in towards me, breathing me in. “Or is it something else?” Time stood still. I couldn’t be certain whether his lips grazed my earlobe, or if I completely imagined it. Either way, I needed to get away from him right now.

“Get. Off. Me,” I whispered, enunciating each word. Noah froze. Then, he straightened. His eyes were wild again, wild like the waves on a stormy sea. I moved by him and ran back to the house, scurrying through the kitchen and down the hallway to my bedroom. A crack of thunder rang out as I slammed the door shut and turned the key over in the lock. I fell back against the wooden frame, heart in my throat.

What did Noah want from me? Why couldn’t he just go ahead and do whatever he was here to do and leave me out of it?

My entire body convulsed with a shiver. My clothes were soaking wet. They clung to my skin, causing me to break out in gooseflesh. I tore them off and climbed under the duvet, trying to get warm.

A few minutes passed before there was a knock on my door.

“Go away,” I said, suspecting it was Noah.

Ominously, there was no response, just the sound of feet walking away.