Wake My Heart (Jasper Falls 1)

His heart seemed to literally tremble at the significance of her words. He saw her as his best friend, too, which was why the thought of losing her terrified him.

“I know I can count on you, Ryan. You would never do anything to hurt me. You give up your own free time to take care of me, even when I don’t ask you to.”

“That’s what you do when you love someone.”

Her smile was sad. “The fact that you believe that just proves how special you actually are. Bran loved my sister and he loved your cousin, but he still hurt them both. People are incredibly selfish. I loved Nash with all my heart, and he loved me. Do you know how many times I asked him to clean out the gutters? You’re the first person who ever actually did it, and I didn’t even ask you to.”

“They needed it.”

She pressed her palms flat over her knees, a nervous tell that said she had something important to share. He held his breath when she looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

“You replaced the bulb on the front porch.”

Should he not have? “It was burned-out.”

“I know.” She blinked and a tear tumbled down her cheek.

His heart broke, wanting to catch that tear before it fell and another soon joined it. “Maggie, I don’t understand why you’re crying.”

“I’m crying because I’m happy. For the last two years, all I did was wish for a way to turn back time, because I thought the only way I could ever feel happy again was to go back to the way things were. The more time that passed, the harder it became to remember what happiness felt like. I was so afraid of something else happening, of life getting one more degree sadder, that I pushed everyone away. Some people were toxic, and it was good to get away from them, but other people… I lost all my friends, because no one could understand what I was feeling. Perrin was the only one who waited patiently for me to come around. And then you showed up and pushed your way past my defenses.”

“I’m not sorry.” He’d never apologize for getting close to her. She was his everything.

She smiled through her tears. “And that’s why I love you. I know you’ll always do what’s best for me, even when it’s the least easy thing for you. No one’s ever loved me like that. Ever.”

What she wasn’t saying spoke volumes. His breathing labored as he stared at her, grasping the implication of her words. It was the greatest compliment of his life, because he knew how much she loved Nash, and he might never fill the guy’s shadow but to say that Ryan loved her better…

His vision blurred and he blinked. What the hell was happening to him? He cleared his throat and glanced away.

He’d been so careful not to get ahead of himself. Rather than rush into hopes of a future and let his family intrude, he’d kept Maggie to himself as long as possible. It terrified him, bringing her to Sunday dinner, but she managed like a champ and everyone got along great with her—they even broke her balls, which was how his family generally showed affection. She fit in like she belonged, and he wanted her to belong to him but feared she never would.

Even now, he could feel his heart running ahead as it tried to beat out of his chest. “What does this mean?”

She lifted a shoulder and smiled. “It means I’m in. I can’t imagine going back to a time when my life didn’t include you. And I don’t want to keep looking backwards, when there are so many good opportunities ahead of us.”

His bones trembled and his breath shook. “Get over here.”

She slowly crossed the patch of grass and climbed onto his lap, looping her arms around his neck. He stared into her eyes and for the first time, dared to see his future there. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too.”

He kissed her and didn’t stop kissing her until he carried her into his house, up the stairs, and dropped her onto his bed.

Chapter 35

“Wait.” Maggie covered his mouth before he could kiss her again. Everything he was doing felt incredible, but she had to explain her conditions. “I’ve thought about this moment for a long time. Since the last time we… When I freaked out.”

He kissed her palm and pulled her hand away from his mouth. “It doesn’t have to be right now. I just need to be close to you.”

She scooted out from under him. “The thing is, I don’t want to make too big of a deal out of the first time we do it.”

He frowned. “But it is a big deal.”

“I know, but the more of a production we make out of it, the harder it is for me to go through with it. I think we should just get in there and get it done.”