12th of Never (Women's Murder Club 12)

“Fish could go back into a coma. It happens, you know. Parker’s not going to wait,” he said.

“That’s okay.”

“Are you all right, Lindsay?”

“I’m absolutely terrific. Joe and I were just saying that these are the best days of our lives.”

“Uh-huh. Go feed your baby. I’ll ask Jacobi to call Parker. See what he can do.”

Chapter 57

JOE, JULIE, AND I were in Dr. Gordon’s office promptly at nine the next morning. I looked down into my baby’s sweet face, hoping for a smile, some little sign that would make me say, “She’s fine.”

“I’m not so happy with the results of the blood test,” Dr. Gordon said.

I tried to read her inscrutable face. I realized that Dr. Gordon was younger than I am. And for the first time, that really worried me. Did she have enough experience to help Julie? Was she the best doctor in the world?

“What about her blood tests? What’s wrong?”

“Her white blood cells are abnormal in shape.”

Abnormal? I grabbed the desk with both hands, as if to stop myself from lifting off and rocketing away from the planet. I had never heard more terrifying words in my life.

“What do you mean by ‘abnormal’?” I said.

Joe shielded the baby from me and from what the doctor was saying. He said, softly, “What’s the worst-case scenario?”

Dr. Gordon said, “Let’s not go to worst cases. We’re not at that point, not even close. I want to check Julie into the hospital and get a full clinical workup,” the doctor said. “I think she may have an infection, but I want a second opinion.”

“An infection like the flu? Is that what you mean?” I said, my grip on the desk relaxing a tad.

“I think so, but I want other doctors to look at her. Look, Lindsay, she’s not gaining weight. She’s running intermittent fevers. It could be just how Julie is, or maybe she picked up something from one of the firemen who delivered her. But I’m guessing.

“I want to test for everything, aggressively. We should do X-rays, biopsies, the works.”

I shouted, “Oh, my God. You don’t think she has the flu. What is this? What do you think she has?”

Joe shushed me and put his hand on Julie’s head.

Dr. Gordon said, “I’m going to make sure that next time you ask me what’s wrong, I can give you an unqualified answer. California Women’s has a wonderful pediatric facility. I’d like you to bring her over—now.”

I had been worried for weeks, and now I thought those weeks had been wasted, that we should have pushed harder for answers.

I blamed myself for not overriding Joe and taking Julie to the hospital the first time she had a fever. I should have followed my instincts. I should have done it.

“I’ll meet you at admitting,” Dr. Gordon said.

I held the baby as Joe drove. He looked drained. Gray. “We’ll get to the bottom of this, Linds. We won’t have to wonder anymore, and Julie will get better.”

Yeah? And how did Joe know that?

We found a spot in the outpatient parking, carried the baby through the pale stone lobby, and took the elevator to pediatrics.

We got through the check-in procedure without either one of us blowing up or going crazy. We met the radiologist, who handed Julie to a nurse, who snapped a bracelet around her tiny wrist—and took her away.

Dr. Gordon said, “She’s in very good hands. I’ll call you as soon as I have something to tell you.”

“We’ll be right here, in the waiting room,” I said.