Eyes Wide Open (The Blackstone Affair 3)

“What’s on your mind, my beauty?” Ethan tapped me on the tip of my nose. “I can see the cogs turning under here.” He kissed my forehead.

“A lot of things.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“I think we should.” I nodded. “I think we don’t have any other choice, Ethan.”

“Yeah,” he answered, his eyes losing the happy spark that had just been in them.

The red-haired waitress eyeballed him thoroughly as she seated us by a window, something I had grown used to when out with Ethan. Females didn’t hide their appreciation very well I was always left wondering how the person would act or what they would say to him if I wasn’t there. Hah! Here’s my number if you want to come over to my place and have some quick and dirty sex. I’ll do anything you want. Gag.

He waited until she left and then got right to it. “So . . . back to our conversation last night. Are you feeling any more receptive to the idea?”

I took a sip of water first. “I think I’m still in shock that you want to . . .” I hesitated.

“You don’t have to be afraid to say the words, Brynne,” he bit back, no longer looking so happy with me.

“Fine. I can’t believe you are willing to ‘marry’ me.” I made air quotes and saw his jaw twitch.

“Why does it surprise you?”

“It’s way too soon and we’re just starting out together, Ethan. Can’t we just keep going like we have been?”

His expression hardened. “We are continuing on like we have been. I don’t know where you think we’re headed, but I can assure you it’ll be somewhere where we are together.” He narrowed his eyes and glared a little. “All in, Brynne, or did you forget so soon? You said you wanted the same thing last night.”

I could tell he was more than a little frustrated with me. “I didn’t forget,” I whispered and looked over the menu in front of me.

“Good.” He picked up his own menu and didn’t say anything for a minute or two. The waitress came back over eventually and made the ordering of our breakfasts pretty sickening as she flirted with Ethan throughout the whole torturous process.

I rolled my eyes when she turned and sauntered off.

Ethan kept his eyes on me, never wavering, as he spoke, “When are you going to understand that I don’t care about women like that waitress and how she just tried flirting with me while you were sitting right here. It was in poor taste and I loathe it. Stuff like that has been happening all my adult life and I can tell you truthfully that it’s annoying as hell.” He reached across the table and picked up my hand. “I only want one woman to flirt with me now, and you know who she is.”

“But how can you be so sure about something as important as marriage?” I went right back to our topic.

He started rubbing his thumb over the top of my hand—touching me in more ways than just the sensual gesture. “I’ve decided what I want with you, baby, and my mind’s not changing.”

“You know this. You know you’ll never change your mind about me or wanting to be with me.” I said them as slightly mocking statements, but they were really questions posed to him. Hell, if he was offering then I had to hear the why of things. “I don’t have any good examples to draw on. My parent’s marriage was a joke.”

“I won’t change my mind, Brynne.” He narrowed his eyes and I could see some hurt there. “You’re everything I want and need. I’m sure of that. I just want to make it official to the world so I can protect you in the best way I know how to. People have married for much less.” He looked down at our hands and then up at me again. “I love you.”

My heart melted under the blast of intensity coming off him, and I felt like a mean bitch again. Here he was baring his feelings, telling me how much I meant to him, and I was giving him a hard time.

“I know you do and I love you too.” I nodded and twisted my hand to hold on to his, meaning my words with all my heart. “I do. Nobody else has ever got that out of me before . . . but you.”

“Good.”

He looked vulnerable then and I wanted to reassure him, make him feel that he mattered to me. Because the truth was, Ethan did matter. So very much. I stroked the top of his hand with a finger, brushing it back and forth.

The past twenty-four hours had been so i

nsane, I was merely trying to keep up. What Ethan was suggesting did make me feel pressured, but he also made me feel loved. He was a good man willing to make a commitment to me, and only asking for the same in return. Why was I having so much trouble with it? The truth was something I pretty much understood even if I hated to acknowledge it by digging down deep into my psyche. Being with Ethan forced me to examine my demons.

“I’ll move in with you. How’s that for a start?”

“It’s just that—a start,” he said dryly. “I told you that part wasn’t negotiable anyway.”

“I know. You tell me a lot of things, Ethan.” I couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of my voice but I smiled at him sitting across from me in all his male beauty, so confident and assured.