Finders Keepers (Lost & Found 3)

“Great for you.” Josie’s arm weaved out of mine as we approached the porch steps. Instead of climbing them with me, she turned away and headed toward the side of the house. “Bye, Black.”

I watched her until she disappeared, calculating my next move. Chase her and tell her what I needed to say before everyone sat down for the reception? Bide my time and catch her later after a few dances and a couple glasses of wine? I decided to go after her then because there was no sense in waiting. I’d waited too long already. I filed around the Walkers’ house—along with everyone else who was making their way to the big white tent set up in back. I lost sight of Josie in the crowd, but I kept moving forward. We’d wind up in the same spot eventually.

Inside of the tent, everyone took their seats around white tables set with white candles and flowers. I scanned everyone, not finding her. Just when I was about to head back out to see if she’d taken a detour, Mrs. Walker slipped up beside me.

“Your seat’s up here,” she said, putting her arm through mine and guiding me to the other end of the tent. “Are you all ready for your speech?”

My head whipped toward Mrs. Walker. “What speech?”

“The one the best man gives during the toast,” she replied, waving at someone we passed.

“No one said anything about a speech. I’m just here for the free food.”

Mrs. Walker nudged me gently. “And here I was thinking you were here for a different reason.” Her gaze shifted to a person sitting at the long table in front of us. Josie. Leave it to Mrs. Walker to save the pretenses.

“Yeah . . . about that . . .” I rubbed the back of my neck as I watched Josie. “I’m not sure that reason I’m here is super thrilled with me actually being here.”

“Here’s a little secret I’ll give away about us women.” Mrs. Walker leaned in, watching Josie with me. “Sometimes we act one way but feel another.”

“Are you telling me that Josie behaving like I’m the anti-Christ is all just an act?”

She smiled and patted my arm. “I’m saying why don’t you find out if it’s an act? There’s nothing to lose in at least finding out.”

“Besides my pride,” I mumbled.

“Pride’s overrated,” she said, moving toward a table of people waving at her. “Give humiliation a try.”

I didn’t care if I had to humiliate myself in front of every last person on the planet, nor did I care how I had to do it—it would be worth it to get Josie to hear me out. Since Josie was on one side of the bride and groom’s seats, I assumed mine was on the other side. The newlyweds weren’t there yet—knowing them, they were probably getting it on right then. For Jesse’s sake, I hoped people weren’t right when they said the sex went downhill after the I dos. Maybe I could work that into the speech. Shit—a speech. I would have to thank both of the Sterling-Walkers for the heads-up on that one. As I took my seat, I glanced at Josie. She was looking every direction but mine. Was Mrs. Walker right? Could she be only acting like she hated me? I wasn’t sure, but I would find out.

“Hey, Joze.” I angled my chair a little toward her and waited. “Josie?” I knew she’d heard me because her face was going a little red.

I was ready to say her name again when her head snapped my way. “You remember that little Bye, Black I issued back there?” Josie pointed toward the Walkers’ house. I didn’t have a chance to nod or reply. “That wasn’t a Bye, I’ll see you in a minute. That was a Bye, I never want to see you again.”

Those words, and that look on her face, gutted me. Act or no act, each of those words sliced through me. “Josie . . .” I had so much to say, so much to explain and apologize for, but that was all I could get out.

Her eyes closed and shook her head. “I warned you. I told you what would happen if you left me that night. That the . . . the . . . love I had for you then”—her voice caught, but after a moment, she lifted her shoulders and cleared her throat—“would change into something else. The opposite. It has.”

I wanted to reach for the glass of water on the table in front of me, but that seemed like too much work. Every scrap of energy had just been sucked out of me. “You hate me? You don’t love me anymore?”

Her eyes met mine for a moment before she twisted away from me. She was obviously done talking, but I wasn’t. I would say what I needed to and apologize for fifteen years of not giving her my best every day of it.

When another round of clapping and cheering went through the crowd, I didn’t need to look to know Jesse and Rowen had made their way to the tent. I stood and clapped with everyone else as my mind worked to decide what to do next. I hadn’t come to the wedding with any expectations about how Josie would react to seeing me after my couple-month departure, but if I had, I wouldn’t have expected her to really hate me. Maybe she’d been right, and her love had nowhere else to go but into hate. That shattered me. But maybe Mrs. Walker was right, and it was all just an act.

Jesse and Rowen hugged their way down the table. I extended my hand to Jesse while Rowen and Josie hugged. Since I pretty much hadn’t taken my eyes off of her all afternoon, I saw Josie whisper something into Rowen’s ear. Rowen replied with a dismissive wave. I guessed Josie was asking Rowen if she’d mind if she smashed her dinner into my face, and Rowen’s wave was a Not at all. Fire away. That was okay. If Josie had to smash her filet into my face in order to feel a bit better so I could say what I needed to, that was a small price to pay.

“Congrats, best man. Your head is still attached to your neck.” Jesse clapped the side of my arm and grinned.

“Aren’t I the one who’s supposed to be congratulating you?” I asked, finally diverting my attention. I might be there for Josie, but I was also there for Jesse and Rowen.

“No need to say it, pal. It’s written all over that tortured face of yours.”

“Haha, funny man. Thank you, by the way, for letting me know about the speech I’d be making and giving me some time to prepare,” I said dryly.

“You bet. Good luck.” Jesse’s grin jumped up a few levels when Rowen slid beside and pressed a kiss into his cheek.

“Holy shit. Rowen Sterling. Glowing. Married. I suppose now’s the time to start packing our bags for the apocalypse.”

Jesse slugged my arm. Rowen got the other. “Holy shit. Garth Black. Present. Accounted for. Sober. Quick, no time to pack your bags for the apocalypse because it’s here.”

I laughed as I stepped in to hug her. “Congrats, Mrs. Sterling-Walker. You take care of my little boy and make sure he eats his peas, washes behind his ears, and that you tuck him in every night sated with a smile on his face.”

Jesse rolled his eyes. Rowen lifted her eyebrows. “Planning on it.”

“By the way, you look amazing,” I added. I didn’t know much about wedding dresses, but I’d seen enough to know that hers wasn’t a typical one. In true Jesse and Rowen fashion, she’d picked out the dress that suited her, the one that worked for them, and said to hell with the rest of it.

“Nice of you to notice. Finally.” Rowen inclined her head behind her—where Josie’s back was as much to us as it could get.

“Yeah . . . sorry about that.”

Rowen took her seat, and Jesse slid her chair forward. “Sincerity is the most important part of an apology,” Rowen said. “You might want to take note in case you’re planning on making any more tonight.”

“I’m planning on it”—I indicated at Josie’s back—“if someone decides to actually acknowledge me.”

“From one stubborn person to another”—Rowen leaned across Jesse’s lap toward me—“figure out a way so she has to hear you out. Don’t let her get away from here tonight without hearing what you have to say.” Rowen’s eyes stayed on mine, drilling what she’d just said into me. She leaned back into her seat, but not before winding her arms around Jesse’s neck and pulling him in for one long, long kiss. Most nauseatingly in love couple alive.

Hey, maybe I could work that into the speech I had to give in—from the look of the dude carrying the mic up to the table—any minute. I wanted to ask Jesse if I could abdicate my speech-giving responsibilities, but he was still wrapped up in the kiss that was going to set some kind of record.

My gaze drifted to Josie—and the person sliding into the empty seat beside her. My fists formed at my sides automatically. “What the hell is Colt Mason doing sitting next to Josie?” I didn’t care if I was breaking up their make-out session; they had a whole honeymoon to make up for it. After a few more seconds of lip locking, Jesse surfaced with a stupid grin on his face. “Well?” I nudged him to break him out of his stupor.

“Colt’s Josie’s date,” Jesse replied matter-of-factly.

“And you didn’t think to tell me this earlier?” Not that it threw a kink in my plans, but I would have liked a little more notice that Colt and Josie were there together than him slipping into the seat next to her and draping his arm around the back of her chair.

Jesse lifted a shoulder. “I’m telling you now. Besides, I’m pretty sure the only reason she invited him was to piss you off. Looks like it’s working.”

“Great, just f**king great,” I said, scrubbing my hands over my face. Josie was with Colt, she’d all but admitted that she hated me, and the dude with the mic had just switched it on and was bringing it my direction. Could anything go worse?

When the guy handed me the mic, I accidentally tapped my water glass with it, making the glass teeter a few times before shattering when it hit the ground. Of course that made me mutter a curse which, since the mic was on and close to my mouth, sounded around the entire tent. Perfect. The first word of my speech was that one. Jesse and Rowen snickered, Josie was back to glaring at me, and Jesse’s sisters gaped at me like I’d just set myself on fire.

Now that I had everyone’s attention and the babies in the room were crying . . . speech time. “No one’s ever accused me of being articulate, and after that, you can all see why—if you didn’t know that already.” Everyone except for the chuckling hyenas beside me stared at me with shocked expressions. “That’s why I would have begged Jesse to let someone else speak, but since I had a whole five minutes of notice”—I clapped my hand on his shoulder and gave it a hard squeeze—“there wasn’t a lot of time for begging. Or running away before the mic got in my hands. So even though articulate and me”— shit, was it articulate and I? I should have paid more attention in English class—“live on opposite sides of the state, tonight I’m going to give it my best shot. Tonight I’m going to attempt to say exactly what I need to, and I hope you all will give me a chance to do that.”

My eyes shifted to Josie, who still had her back to me, but it had stiffened. “Jesse and I”—or was it Jesse and me? Damn it anyways—“grew up as best friends. That someone like him would even want to associate with me, let alone be friends with me, was something that took me a long time to get used to. If you’ve lived around these parts for very long, you know, I was a piece of—” I caught myself just in time thanks to Clementine shaking her head and wagging her finger at me from the table right in front of me. I thanked her with a wink. “I was a piece of . . . something . . . and Jesse was the stand-up, amazing guy he still is today. Someone like me didn’t deserve a friend like him. A person like me didn’t deserve his acceptance and kindness and love.” Jesse and Rowen had stopped chuckling and were looking at me with something of a bewildered look, probably because I was speaking from the heart and not straight out of my ass.

o;Great for you.” Josie’s arm weaved out of mine as we approached the porch steps. Instead of climbing them with me, she turned away and headed toward the side of the house. “Bye, Black.”

I watched her until she disappeared, calculating my next move. Chase her and tell her what I needed to say before everyone sat down for the reception? Bide my time and catch her later after a few dances and a couple glasses of wine? I decided to go after her then because there was no sense in waiting. I’d waited too long already. I filed around the Walkers’ house—along with everyone else who was making their way to the big white tent set up in back. I lost sight of Josie in the crowd, but I kept moving forward. We’d wind up in the same spot eventually.

Inside of the tent, everyone took their seats around white tables set with white candles and flowers. I scanned everyone, not finding her. Just when I was about to head back out to see if she’d taken a detour, Mrs. Walker slipped up beside me.

“Your seat’s up here,” she said, putting her arm through mine and guiding me to the other end of the tent. “Are you all ready for your speech?”

My head whipped toward Mrs. Walker. “What speech?”

“The one the best man gives during the toast,” she replied, waving at someone we passed.

“No one said anything about a speech. I’m just here for the free food.”

Mrs. Walker nudged me gently. “And here I was thinking you were here for a different reason.” Her gaze shifted to a person sitting at the long table in front of us. Josie. Leave it to Mrs. Walker to save the pretenses.

“Yeah . . . about that . . .” I rubbed the back of my neck as I watched Josie. “I’m not sure that reason I’m here is super thrilled with me actually being here.”

“Here’s a little secret I’ll give away about us women.” Mrs. Walker leaned in, watching Josie with me. “Sometimes we act one way but feel another.”

“Are you telling me that Josie behaving like I’m the anti-Christ is all just an act?”

She smiled and patted my arm. “I’m saying why don’t you find out if it’s an act? There’s nothing to lose in at least finding out.”

“Besides my pride,” I mumbled.

“Pride’s overrated,” she said, moving toward a table of people waving at her. “Give humiliation a try.”

I didn’t care if I had to humiliate myself in front of every last person on the planet, nor did I care how I had to do it—it would be worth it to get Josie to hear me out. Since Josie was on one side of the bride and groom’s seats, I assumed mine was on the other side. The newlyweds weren’t there yet—knowing them, they were probably getting it on right then. For Jesse’s sake, I hoped people weren’t right when they said the sex went downhill after the I dos. Maybe I could work that into the speech. Shit—a speech. I would have to thank both of the Sterling-Walkers for the heads-up on that one. As I took my seat, I glanced at Josie. She was looking every direction but mine. Was Mrs. Walker right? Could she be only acting like she hated me? I wasn’t sure, but I would find out.

“Hey, Joze.” I angled my chair a little toward her and waited. “Josie?” I knew she’d heard me because her face was going a little red.

I was ready to say her name again when her head snapped my way. “You remember that little Bye, Black I issued back there?” Josie pointed toward the Walkers’ house. I didn’t have a chance to nod or reply. “That wasn’t a Bye, I’ll see you in a minute. That was a Bye, I never want to see you again.”

Those words, and that look on her face, gutted me. Act or no act, each of those words sliced through me. “Josie . . .” I had so much to say, so much to explain and apologize for, but that was all I could get out.

Her eyes closed and shook her head. “I warned you. I told you what would happen if you left me that night. That the . . . the . . . love I had for you then”—her voice caught, but after a moment, she lifted her shoulders and cleared her throat—“would change into something else. The opposite. It has.”

I wanted to reach for the glass of water on the table in front of me, but that seemed like too much work. Every scrap of energy had just been sucked out of me. “You hate me? You don’t love me anymore?”

Her eyes met mine for a moment before she twisted away from me. She was obviously done talking, but I wasn’t. I would say what I needed to and apologize for fifteen years of not giving her my best every day of it.

When another round of clapping and cheering went through the crowd, I didn’t need to look to know Jesse and Rowen had made their way to the tent. I stood and clapped with everyone else as my mind worked to decide what to do next. I hadn’t come to the wedding with any expectations about how Josie would react to seeing me after my couple-month departure, but if I had, I wouldn’t have expected her to really hate me. Maybe she’d been right, and her love had nowhere else to go but into hate. That shattered me. But maybe Mrs. Walker was right, and it was all just an act.

Jesse and Rowen hugged their way down the table. I extended my hand to Jesse while Rowen and Josie hugged. Since I pretty much hadn’t taken my eyes off of her all afternoon, I saw Josie whisper something into Rowen’s ear. Rowen replied with a dismissive wave. I guessed Josie was asking Rowen if she’d mind if she smashed her dinner into my face, and Rowen’s wave was a Not at all. Fire away. That was okay. If Josie had to smash her filet into my face in order to feel a bit better so I could say what I needed to, that was a small price to pay.

“Congrats, best man. Your head is still attached to your neck.” Jesse clapped the side of my arm and grinned.

“Aren’t I the one who’s supposed to be congratulating you?” I asked, finally diverting my attention. I might be there for Josie, but I was also there for Jesse and Rowen.

“No need to say it, pal. It’s written all over that tortured face of yours.”

“Haha, funny man. Thank you, by the way, for letting me know about the speech I’d be making and giving me some time to prepare,” I said dryly.

“You bet. Good luck.” Jesse’s grin jumped up a few levels when Rowen slid beside and pressed a kiss into his cheek.

“Holy shit. Rowen Sterling. Glowing. Married. I suppose now’s the time to start packing our bags for the apocalypse.”

Jesse slugged my arm. Rowen got the other. “Holy shit. Garth Black. Present. Accounted for. Sober. Quick, no time to pack your bags for the apocalypse because it’s here.”

I laughed as I stepped in to hug her. “Congrats, Mrs. Sterling-Walker. You take care of my little boy and make sure he eats his peas, washes behind his ears, and that you tuck him in every night sated with a smile on his face.”

Jesse rolled his eyes. Rowen lifted her eyebrows. “Planning on it.”

“By the way, you look amazing,” I added. I didn’t know much about wedding dresses, but I’d seen enough to know that hers wasn’t a typical one. In true Jesse and Rowen fashion, she’d picked out the dress that suited her, the one that worked for them, and said to hell with the rest of it.

“Nice of you to notice. Finally.” Rowen inclined her head behind her—where Josie’s back was as much to us as it could get.

“Yeah . . . sorry about that.”

Rowen took her seat, and Jesse slid her chair forward. “Sincerity is the most important part of an apology,” Rowen said. “You might want to take note in case you’re planning on making any more tonight.”

“I’m planning on it”—I indicated at Josie’s back—“if someone decides to actually acknowledge me.”

“From one stubborn person to another”—Rowen leaned across Jesse’s lap toward me—“figure out a way so she has to hear you out. Don’t let her get away from here tonight without hearing what you have to say.” Rowen’s eyes stayed on mine, drilling what she’d just said into me. She leaned back into her seat, but not before winding her arms around Jesse’s neck and pulling him in for one long, long kiss. Most nauseatingly in love couple alive.

Hey, maybe I could work that into the speech I had to give in—from the look of the dude carrying the mic up to the table—any minute. I wanted to ask Jesse if I could abdicate my speech-giving responsibilities, but he was still wrapped up in the kiss that was going to set some kind of record.

My gaze drifted to Josie—and the person sliding into the empty seat beside her. My fists formed at my sides automatically. “What the hell is Colt Mason doing sitting next to Josie?” I didn’t care if I was breaking up their make-out session; they had a whole honeymoon to make up for it. After a few more seconds of lip locking, Jesse surfaced with a stupid grin on his face. “Well?” I nudged him to break him out of his stupor.

“Colt’s Josie’s date,” Jesse replied matter-of-factly.

“And you didn’t think to tell me this earlier?” Not that it threw a kink in my plans, but I would have liked a little more notice that Colt and Josie were there together than him slipping into the seat next to her and draping his arm around the back of her chair.

Jesse lifted a shoulder. “I’m telling you now. Besides, I’m pretty sure the only reason she invited him was to piss you off. Looks like it’s working.”

“Great, just f**king great,” I said, scrubbing my hands over my face. Josie was with Colt, she’d all but admitted that she hated me, and the dude with the mic had just switched it on and was bringing it my direction. Could anything go worse?

When the guy handed me the mic, I accidentally tapped my water glass with it, making the glass teeter a few times before shattering when it hit the ground. Of course that made me mutter a curse which, since the mic was on and close to my mouth, sounded around the entire tent. Perfect. The first word of my speech was that one. Jesse and Rowen snickered, Josie was back to glaring at me, and Jesse’s sisters gaped at me like I’d just set myself on fire.

Now that I had everyone’s attention and the babies in the room were crying . . . speech time. “No one’s ever accused me of being articulate, and after that, you can all see why—if you didn’t know that already.” Everyone except for the chuckling hyenas beside me stared at me with shocked expressions. “That’s why I would have begged Jesse to let someone else speak, but since I had a whole five minutes of notice”—I clapped my hand on his shoulder and gave it a hard squeeze—“there wasn’t a lot of time for begging. Or running away before the mic got in my hands. So even though articulate and me”— shit, was it articulate and I? I should have paid more attention in English class—“live on opposite sides of the state, tonight I’m going to give it my best shot. Tonight I’m going to attempt to say exactly what I need to, and I hope you all will give me a chance to do that.”

My eyes shifted to Josie, who still had her back to me, but it had stiffened. “Jesse and I”—or was it Jesse and me? Damn it anyways—“grew up as best friends. That someone like him would even want to associate with me, let alone be friends with me, was something that took me a long time to get used to. If you’ve lived around these parts for very long, you know, I was a piece of—” I caught myself just in time thanks to Clementine shaking her head and wagging her finger at me from the table right in front of me. I thanked her with a wink. “I was a piece of . . . something . . . and Jesse was the stand-up, amazing guy he still is today. Someone like me didn’t deserve a friend like him. A person like me didn’t deserve his acceptance and kindness and love.” Jesse and Rowen had stopped chuckling and were looking at me with something of a bewildered look, probably because I was speaking from the heart and not straight out of my ass.