Lilly:
Whoa. It’s you.
Me:
Is it too late to call? I didn’t wake up your grandparents, did I?
Lilly:
Well, yeah. Kinda. But they’ll get over it. So. How is it?
Me:
You mean Genovia? Um, okay, I guess.
Lilly:
Oh, yes. I’m sure it’s just okay, being waited on hand and foot, having your every need tended to by servants, and wearing a crown all the time.
Me:
The crown kind of hurts. Look. Just tell me the truth, Lilly. Has Michael found another girl?
Lilly:
Another girl? What are you talking about?
Me:
You know what I mean. Some Floridian girl, who can surf. Some girl named Kate, or possibly Anne Marie, with one blue eye and one brown eye. Just tell me, Lilly, I can take the truth, I swear.
Lilly:
First of all, for Michael to have met another girl, that would mean he’d have to tear himself from his laptop and leave the condo, which he has done only for meals and to buy more computer equipment the entire time we have been here. He is as pasty-skinned as ever. Secondly, he is not going
to go out with some girl named Kate, because he likes you.
Me:
(practically crying with relief) Really, Lilly? You swear? You aren’t just lying to make me feel better?
Lilly:
No, I’m not. Though I don’t know how long his devotion to you is going to last, considering you didn’t even remember his birthday.
I felt something clutch at my throat. Michael’s birthday! I had forgotten Michael’s birthday! I had written it in my new datebook and everything, but with everything that had been going on…
“Oh, my God, Lilly,” I shrieked. “I completely forgot!”
“Yes,” Lilly said. “You did. But don’t worry. I’m pretty sure he didn’t expect a card or anything. I mean, you’re off being the Princess of Genovia. How can you be expected to remember something as important as your boyfriend’s birthday?”
This seemed really unfair to me. I mean, Michael and I have only been going out for twenty-two days, and for twenty-one of them, I have been very, very busy. I mean, it is all very well for Lilly to joke, but I haven’t seen her christening any battleships or crusading for the installation of public parking meters. It may never have occurred to anyone, but this princess stuff is hard work.
“Lilly,” I said. “Can I talk to him, please? Michael, I mean?”
“Sure,” Lilly said. Then she screamed, “Michael! Phone!”
“Lilly!” I cried, shocked. “Your grandparents!”