Princess on the Brink (The Princess Diaries 8)
“Cool, huh?” she said. “J.P. ran them off on his dad’s copier at his office.”
“No,” I said. “Not cool. Lilly, what are you trying to do? SCARE people into voting for me?”
“Exactly,” Lilly said, sitting down. “That’s the only thing these kids understand. They’ve been raised on Fox News and sensationalist journalism. They wouldn’t know a real issue if one smacked them in the face. All they understand is fear. That’s how we’re going to win their votes.”
“Lilly,” I said. I couldn’t believe this. “I don’t WANT people to vote for me because they’re scared they won’t know what to do in the event of a dirty bomb attack if they don’t. I want them to vote for me because they agree with my values and support my stand on the issues.”
“But you have no stand on any issues,” Lilly said reasonably. “You’re going to step down if you win, anyway. So what do you care?”
“It’s just—” I shook my head. “I don’t know. It seems wrong, somehow.”
“Everyone else in politics and the media is doing it,” Lilly said. “Why shouldn’t we?”
“That doesn’t make it any less wrong.”
“Hey.” J.P. set his tray down across from Lilly’s. “Do you guys know what would happen if a Category Three or higher hurricane hit New York City? Don’t laugh, it’s happened before. In 1893 a mere Category Two hurricane destroyed Hog Island, a resort island off the Rockaways in Queens. A whole ISLAND, with hotels on it and everything, and it disappeared overnight. Think about what a higher-category hurricane could do. Would you know what to do in the event of such a disaster?” He pulled a table-topper from his pocket. “Well, don’t worry. Princess Mia of Genovia does.”
“Very funny,” I said to him. “Lilly, seriously—”
“Mia, seriously,” Lilly said back to me. “You just worry about how you’re going to keep my brother from moving to Japan, and let me worry about your campaign for student body president.”
I blinked at her. Wait. Lilly KNOWS??? HOW COULD SHE KNOW?????
She must have noticed my astonishment, since she rolled her eyes and went, “Oh, please, POG. We’ve been best friends since kindergarten. You think I don’t know how you operate by now? I’m sure whatever it is you’re planning, it will be highly entertaining, if not completely ineffective. The boy’s got his mind made up. You might as well surrender the fantasy.”
“Mia!” Ling Su hurried up to our table, looking panicky. “Is it true? Is there really a chlorine-manufacturing plant in Kearny, New Jersey, that, if attacked by terrorists, could send a noxious cloud of chlorine gas over Manhattan that will kill or sicken us almost instantaneously?”
“What about an explosion at the Indian Point nuclear power plant?” Perin wanted to know. “Could the radiation plume really move south toward us and taint the city’s water supply, killing thousands and making the city uninhabitable for decades?”
I glared at Lilly. “Look what you’ve done!” I cried. “You’ve freaked everybody out about stuff that could never happen!”
“What do you mean, stuff that could never happen?” Lilly demanded. “What about that blackout? For years people were saying there could never be another blackout, but there WAS one. We were just lucky they got the power turned back on so quickly, or people would have started looting and killing one another for diapers.”
“Do you really know what to do in the event of a smallpox attack?” Ling Su asked me. “Because the United States only has three hundred million doses stockpiled, and if you aren’t one of the first people in line to get one, you’ll probably die of it while you’re waiting to get vaccinated. Do you have access to some secret stockpile because you’re a princess, or something? Can’t you just get us the vaccinations now so that if a terrorist releases some smallpox into the air tomorrow, or whatever, we’ll be all right?”
“Lilly!” I was so disgusted I could hardly stand it. “You’ve got to stop! See what you’re doing? You’re making people think I have access to a secret stockpile of smallpox vaccine, and that if they vote for me, I’ll give them some! And it’s not true!”
Ling Su and Perin looked disappointed to hear I didn’t have smallpox vaccines at my beck and call. Boris, meanwhile, was laughing.
“What’s so funny?” I demanded.
“Just—” He noticed Tina giving him the evil eye, so he stopped laughing. “Nothing.”
“Look, POG,” Lilly said. “I realize we’re going for the lowest common denominator here, but take a look around.”
I looked around the caf. Everywhere I glanced, people were picking up the table-toppers and talking about them—and darting nervous glances at me.
“See?” Lilly shrugged. “It’s working. People are falling for it. They’re going to vote for you, because they think you’ve got
all the answers. And, seriously, if Indian Point DID explode, what WOULD you do?”
“Make sure everyone had potassium iodide tablets to take within a few hours of exposure to help protect them from absorbing radiation. Ensure that everyone had at least a few weeks’ supply of clear water, canned food, and prescription drugs so that they could stay inside with the ventilation off until the all clear,” I replied automatically.
“And in the event of an earthquake?”
“Take cover in a doorway or under a sturdy piece of furniture. After the initial shock, turn off all water, electricity, and gas.”
“And if there’s an avian flu outbreak?”