Princess on the Brink (The Princess Diaries 8)

But when I just looked at him, Michael stopped laughing and went, “Wait. What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

And this horrible cold feeling crept over me.

“Michael,” I said. It was as if someone had lowered the air-conditioning in the room about ten degrees all of a sudden. “Are you not a virgin?”

And he went, “No, of course not. You know that.”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To which, of course, I replied, “NO, I DID NOT KNOW THAT!” and “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?”

And Michael actually started to look alarmed. I guess because I yelled it so loud. But I didn’t care. Because

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Well,” he said. “I guess we never actually TALKED about it, but I didn’t think it was a big deal—”

“YOU HAVE HAD SEX BEFORE, AND YOU DIDN’T THINK THAT WAS A BIG DEAL??? A BIG ENOUGH DEAL TO TELL YOUR GIRLFRIEND????”

Seriously, I know it sounds lame, but I was about to cry. Because—his Precious Gift! And he had given it to someone else! And never even thought it was a big enough deal to tell me about it!

“It was before you and I even started going out,” Michael said. He looked totally panicky now. Not that I cared. “I didn’t think—I mean, it was so long ago—”

“WHO?” I couldn’t stop yelling. I wanted to. I knew I wasn’t being cool. I’m sure this wasn’t how Tina acted when Boris tearfully confessed about Lilly having Touched It.

But I genuinely couldn’t help myself. “WHO WAS IT?”

“Who’d I have sex with?” Michael kept blinking. “I don’t think I want to tell you. You might try to kill her or something. Your eyes are actually spinning around in their sockets a little bit righ

t now.”

“WHO WAS IT??????”

“God, it was Judith, okay?” Michael had stopped looking scared. Now he just looked annoyed. “What is WITH you? It didn’t mean anything, we were just messing around. It was before I even knew you liked me, so what do you care?”

“Judith?” So many thoughts were colliding into one another inside my head, it was like the inside of my brain had turned into a giant demolition derby. “Judith GERSHNER???? YOU HAD SEX WITH JUDITH GERSHNER???? YOU SAID YOU WERE JUST FRIENDS!!!!!!”

“We were!” Michael had stood up. So had I. We were standing across the room from each other, yelling. At least, I was yelling. Michael was just talking. “But we were friends who mess around a little.”

“You told me you weren’t going out with her! You told me she had a boyfriend!”

“I wasn’t,” he insisted. “And she did! But…”

“But WHAT?”

“But.” He shrugged. “I don’t know. We were just messing around. I TOLD YOU.”

“Oh, REALLY?” I couldn’t believe this. I could not believe that Michael and Judith Gershner had—had—I mean, I’ve HUNG OUT with Judith Gershner. Well, not HUNG OUT with her, necessarily. But TALKED to her.

And the whole time, I’d never had the slightest idea that SHE had had carnal knowledge of my boyfriend. SHE had been the recipient of his Precious Gift. Not me. NEVER ME.

Because once you’ve given your gift away, you can’t take it back and give it to someone else you might happen to like better, or even love. No. It says so right in Tina’s book. It is GONE.

GONE.

“Did JUDITH feel that way?” I heard myself yelling. “Did JUDITH think the two of you were just messing around? Or was she in love with you? Did she know she was giving you her Precious Gift just so you could turn around and start dating me?”

“First of all,” Michael said, “if you don’t stop saying Precious Gift, I’m going to hurl. Second of all, I told you, we were just messing around. Judith wasn’t in love with me and I wasn’t in love with her. I wasn’t even her first, for crying out loud!”