Royal Wedding (The Princess Diaries 11)

HRH Mia Thermopolis “FtLouie”>

What could turn the Genovian Yacht Classic into a horror story? Protesters?

Worse. Computer programmers.

The Chosen People? What have we done now?

You came sweeping in with your advanced technology and won all the trophies and made them feel inferior.

It’s not only our advanced technology that makes them feel inferior.

Is sex really all men ever think about?

Not always, sometimes we think about food. Why, is that not what women think about all the time?

No, we think about it—and food—all the time, too, but more in a narrative context where the girl ends up being trapped in a secret room full of cake with a bed in the middle of it and then you come in dressed in full armor and go, “Put down that cake and prithee get naked.”

Noted, though I’m not sure how the sex works with the armor. What was with going outside with your grandma in front of those protesters tonight?

Oh, nothing.

They weren’t throwing fruit over nothing.

What are you wearing?

Mia, I’m serious about this.

I’m serious, too. The armor has a codpiece. I’ve researched it.

We’re going to discuss this tomorrow.

Couldn’t we discuss it now? I think I need a professional trained in extinguishing fires. Because there’s one going on in my pants.

I meant we’re going to discuss the protesters.

Before or after the show of shows, story of stories, sights of all sights?

If by that you mean Cirque du Soleil, how would you feel if we skipped that particular tradition this year?

Uh, Michael, you know Grandmère always pays extra for front-row VIP seats.

What if I’ve come up with something better for us to do?

What could be better than a dramatic mix of circus arts and street entertainment performed live under a large tent near New York City’s main jail complex? Except of course the aforementioned secret room filled with cake.

You’ll find out tomorrow.

Michael, you know I hate surprises, right?

I think you’ll like this one.

I can already guarantee I won’t unless it involves cake and armor.

You really need to do something about that negativity. May I recommend a nice yoga/meditation retreat?

That isn’t funny. Just reading the word meditate made my eyelid start twitching more.

Good night! Sweet dreams . . .