Spite Club (Mason Brothers 1)

“No,” I said. “Not this time. I want something else.”

“Yeah? And what is that?”

I took a breath. “You said something about dirty sex when we first met.”

There was a pause. Barely a heartbeat long, but it was there. “Did I?”

“You did,” I said. I was picturing him in my mind right now. Lying in bed, mostly naked, like the photo. Oh hell, that photo. “You said that I’m nice, and that you’re too dirty for me, and that’s why we can’t fuck.”

Another heartbeat of surprise at my foul language. But Nick, of all people, knew exactly where I was going. “Yeah,” he said. “I said that.”

“I’ve decided I hate being nice,” I told him. “I want to do things your way. I’ve had the world’s shittiest day, and I think some dirty, dirty sex would make it better. And I think you’re the guy to provide it.”

This was it. The moment when he could laugh at me. Make me feel stupid or ugly. Tell me I wasn’t sexy or attractive. Tell me to leave him alone.

Instead, he said, “Right now?”

My heart leapt in my chest. It freaking leapt. “Yes. Right now.”

He made a rumbling, thinking sound, a little like hmmm but mixed with an exhale. “That might be a shitty idea, Evie.”

“It isn’t a shitty idea,” I said, because it wasn’t. It really wasn’t. “It’s a good idea.”

“You’re kind of vulnerable, or something. Emotional or some shit.”

“I am not emotional!” The panic in my voice made that a lie, but I didn’t care. “I’m perfectly sane, and I need some dirty sex!”

“See, that right there,” he said. “That’s emotional. We fuck right now, and we do it dirty, you’ll probably change your mind and regret it.”

“You have got to be kidding me!” I slapped a frustrated hand down on the mattress beside me. “This is a booty call, Nick! A serious one! No strings attached!”

“And I very much fucking appreciate it,” he said. “But you’re all twisted up and turned around. And dirty sex with me is very fucking filthy. That’s a bad combination. It isn’t going to work.”

Why? Why was he being nice now, of all times? I was so done with nice. “You’re serious, aren’t you?” I said. “You’re turning me down.”

He made a pained noise in his throat. “Yeah,” he said. “I have to.”

“Well, thanks for nothing!” I shouted at him, hurt now as well as angry. Had he ever turned Gina down? Who was I kidding? Of course he hadn’t. “Take your chivalry and shove it!” I hung up the phone and threw it on the floor.

I pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes. This was my life right now. I couldn’t even get the world’s dirtiest guy to fuck me, and I’d been in bed with him just this morning. What was wrong with me?

If what you’re doing isn’t working, change it.

The words floated into my mind. Clear and simple. Had I heard them somewhere? Some self-help article? I had no idea, but there they were.

If what you’re doing isn’t working, change it.

Powerful and scary at the same time. Words that took courage.

My life wasn’t working. My career, my love life, my sex life. None of it was working right now. What did I have to lose?

If what you’re doing isn’t working, change it.

It was time to admit that being nice wasn’t working for me. At all.

Maybe it was time to change it.

Twelve