The Eyre Affair (Thursday Next 1)

“Here at SpecOps my responsibility is not only with the LiteraTecs, but also Art Theft, Vampirism & Lycanthropy, the ChronoGuard, Antiterrorism, Civil Order and the dog pound. Do you play golf?”

“No, sir.”

“Shame, shame. Where was I? Oh yes. Out of all those departments, do you know which I fear most?”

“I’ve no idea, sir.”

“I’ll tell you. None of them. The thing I fear most is SpecOps regional budget meetings. Do you realize what that means, Next?”

“No, sir.”

“It means that every time one of you puts in for extra overtime or a special request, I go over budget and it makes my head hurt right here.”

He pointed to his left temple.

“And I don’t like that. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

He picked up my file again and waved it at me.

“I heard you had a spot of bother in the big city. Other operatives getting killed. It’s a whole new different alternative kettle of fish here, y’know. We crunch data for a living. If you want to arrest someone then have uniform do it. No running about shooting up bad guys, no overtime and definitely no twenty-four-hour surveillance operations. Understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Now, about Hades.”

My heart leaped; I had thought that would have been censored, if anything.

“I understand you think he is still alive?”

I thought for a moment. My eyes flicked to the file Hicks was holding. He divined my thoughts.

“Oh, that’s not in here, my dear girl. I may be a hick commander in the boonies, but I do have my sources. You think he is still alive?”

I knew I could trust Victor and Bowden, but about Hicks I was not so sure. I didn’t think I would risk it.

“A symptom of stress, sir. Hades is dead.”

He plonked my file in the out-tray, leaned back in his chair and stroked his mustache, something he obviously enjoyed.

“So you’re not here to try and find him?”

“Why would Hades be in Swindon if he were alive, sir?”

Braxton looked uneasy for a moment.

“Quite, quite.”

He smiled and stood up, indicating that the interview was at an end.

“Good, well, run along. One piece of advice. Learn to play golf; you’ll find it a very rewarding and relaxing game. This is a copy of the department’s budget account and this is a list of all the local golf courses. Study them well. Good luck.”

I went out and closed the door after me.

The clerk looked up.

“Did he mention the budget?”