The Well of Lost Plots (Thursday Next 3)

'Anna and Vronsky met there? How terribly unsophisticated!'

'There is more, my dear Vera. Wait – the doorbell! I must leave you; not a word to anyone and I will call again soon!'

10. '… Special on at St Tabularasa's Generic College – superior-quality Blocking Characters available now for instant location to your novel. From forbidding fathers to "by the book" superior police officers, our high-quality Blockers will guarantee conflict from the simplest protagonist! Call freefootnoterphone/St Tabularasa's for more details …'

11. 'Vera? Is that you? What a day! All noise and rain. Do please carry on about Anna!'

'Well. Anna danced with Vronsky – at the ball that night; he became her shadow and very much more!'

'No! – Alexei Vronsky and Anna – an affair! What about her husband? Surely he found out?'

'Eventually, yes. I think Anna told him, but not until she was with child, Vronsky's child. There was to be no hiding that.'

'What did he say?'

'Believe it or not, he forgave them both! Insisted that they remain married and attempted to continue as if nothing had happened.'

'I always did think that man was a fool. What happened next?'

'Vronsky shot himself, claiming he could not bear to be apart from her. Melodramatic is not the word for it!'

'It reads like a cheap novelette! Did he die?'

'No; merely wounded. It gets worse. Karenin realised that to save Anna he himself must take the disgrace and admit that he had been unfaithful so that Anna was not ruined and could marry Vronsky.'

'So Karenin let them go? He didn't ban her from ever seeing her lover again? Didn't horse-whip either of them or sell his story to The Mole? It strikes me Karenin himself may have had some totty on the side, too. Wait! My husband calls me – stay tuned. Fare-well for now, my dear Vera!'

12. 'Miss Next, are you there?'

13. 'Good. Meet me at the Jurisfiction office as soon as possible. It's about Perkins – the minotaur has escaped.'

14. 'Not really. You see, Perkins isn't responding to footnoterphone communications – we think something might have happened to him.'

15. 'Sofya! Where were you? I have been calling for ever! Tell me, the Karenins – they divorced?'

'No! Maybe if they had been divorced, events would have been different. I remember her attending the theatre in Petersburg. What a disaster!'

'Why? Whatever happened? Did she make a fool of herself?'

'Yes, by appearing in the first place! How could she? Madame Kartasova, who was in the adjacent box with that fat bald husband of hers, made a scene: she said something aloud, something insulting, and left the theatre. We all saw it happen. Anna tried to ignore everything but she must have known …'

'Why didn't they push for a divorce, the foolish pair!'

'Vronsky wanted her to but she kept putting it off. They moved to Moscow, but she was never happy. Vronsky spent his time involved in politics and she was convinced that he was with other women. A jealous, fallen disgrace of a woman she was. Then, at Znamanka station she could take it no longer – she flung herself upon the rails and was crushed by the 20.02 to Obiralovka!'

'No!'

'Yes, but don't tell a soul – it is a secret between you and me! Come – for dinner on Tuesday – we are having turnip à l’orange. I have a simply adorable new cook. Adieu, my good friend, adieu!'

16. 'Thursday, are you there?'

17. 'It's the Cheshire Cat. Do you know how to play the piano?'

18. 'Oh, no reason; I just thought I'd ask to be on the safe side.'

19. 'Why, the piano, of course!'

20. 'You've got a hearing for your trial – remember the fiction infraction? Well, there have been some delays with Max de Winter's appeal so they've applied for a continuance! – can you come this afternoon if you're not too busy, say three o'clock?'