Ender in Exile (Ender's Saga 1.20)

"Just words?" said Ender. "So he's nonviolent?"

"So far," said Virlomi.

"Then I'm safe," said Ender. "Thank you for the great honor you paid me. Please let it be known that I'm here. And that I really am that Andrew Wiggin."

"Are you sure?" asked Virlomi.

"Insane people are always sure," said Valentine.

Ender laughed, and so Virlomi did, too--a nervous chuckle.

"I'd invite you to join me for supper tonight," said Virlomi, "only one of my affectations is to eat little, and of course, as a Hindu, I eat an entirely vegetarian cuisine."

"Sounds excellent," said Valentine.

"Tell us when and where, and we'll be there," said Ender.

With a few more parting words, Virlomi left.

Valentine turned on Ender, angry and sad, both at once. "Did you bring me here to watch you die?"

"I didn't bring you anywhere," said Ender. "You just came."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Everyone dies, Valentine. Mother and Father are dead. Peter is dead. Graff is probably dead by now."

"You forget that I know you, Ender," said Valentine. "You have decided to die. You've decided to provoke this boy into killing you."

"Why would you think that?"

"Look at the names you chose for passwords, Ender! You can't live with the guilt."

"Not guilt, Val," said Ender. "Responsibility."

"Don't make this boy kill you," said Valentine.

"I won't make anybody do anything. How about that?"

"I should have stayed home and watched Peter conquer the world."

"Oh, no, Valentine. We're on a much more interesting trajectory through space-time."

"I'm not going to sleep through my life like you are, Ender. I have work to do. I'm going to write my histories. I'm not burdened with a death wish."

"If I wished to be dead," said Ender, "I would have let Bonzo Madrid and his friends beat my brains out in a bathroom in Battle School."

"I know you," said Valentine.

"I know you think you do," said Ender. "And if I die, you'll think I chose to. The truth is much more complicated. I don't intend to die. But I'm not afraid of the risk of death. Sometimes a soldier has to put himself in harm's way in order to achieve victory."

"It's not your war," said Valentine.

Ender laughed. "It's always my war."

CHAPTER 22

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