to explore,
to expand,
to excavate.
The most incredible place I’d
ever been was right inside of me.
If I left, I might never find
it again, and so I refused
to sink down,
to close the door,
to rebuild the wall.
When someone offered a second dose
of birthday E, I said, “Absolutely.”
And when someone broke
out the crank, I was ready
to snort up,
to smoke up,
to shoot up.
I should have been scared to death.
But ecstasy dissolves all fear.
Unforgettable Birthdays
aren’t easy to come by.
Do you remember
your 4th? Your 12th?
To my 90th birthday,
I will never forget my 17th.
If you do remember
them, why?
It was a day of firsts: giving
myself willingly to ecstasy.
To a man. A needle.