Friend-Zoned (Friend-Zoned 1)
The father of her child
A week has passed since Tina disappeared and I hear nothing from her. I’ve been checking in with Ghost but he says she hasn’t been at the store. I’d say she’s probably still too sore.
I still can’t believe I proposed to her using gummy bears.
You’re such a dork.
Quiet, brain.
But here’s the kicker; if she wanted to marry me she would’ve already accepted.
I lean back in my chair, put my feet up on my d
esk, and use my forearm to cover my eyes.
I think I’m depressed. I remember feeling similar feelings like this when my dad died. Nothing makes me happy. Not even Ceecee, who is very confused with my sudden change in attitude. At least Max is talking to me again.
“Tina’s back. ”
The voice makes me jolt in my chair and I feel it fall further and further back. Next thing I know I’m on the floor with Ghost leaning over me chuckling. He says, “Sorry, bro. ”
You don’t sound sorry, asshole.
He goes on, “Tina just got in. So I suggest you get your sorry ass up and get talking to her. ” He offers his hand, I take it and he helps me up.
Then he slaps my shoulder in a brotherly gesture and leaves.
Before I can change my mind, I’m up and out the door.
***
Hiding out in the storeroom was not what I had planned when I decided today was the day I came back to work. But here I am; sitting on the floor, my desk at my back, my head resting back on it, and my hands covering my eyes.
Too soon.
I hear the door open then close. I murmur, “I shouldn’t have come today, Nat. I think I’ll try again tomorrow. ”
Hands come under my arms and lift me so I’m sitting on the desk. I open my eyes and see Nik’s beautiful but slightly bruised face. His nose is crooked, too.
This looks like Nat’s handy work.
My heart squeezes and my eyes mist.
God, I missed him.
His amber eyes search my face. His hand moves to the back of my neck and squeezes. He sounds pained as he says, “I can’t take this anymore. It’s been a week, Tina. A long, torturous week. Do something! Yell at me or hit me, for fuck sake. Just don’t shut me out, baby. I know I screwed up really fuckin’ bad. Tell me what I can do to fix this. ” He leans his forehead on mine and whispers hoarsely, “Please, let me fix this. ”
I want to kiss him so badly but restrain myself. Instead I hold his cheeks with my shaking hands and whisper, “I don’t know if this can be fixed, Nik. You can’t glue together a broken heart. ”
I lean back and watch devastation transform his handsome face. I touch his scarred eyebrow and continue, “My heart was broken before I even met you, Nik. This isn’t all about what happened. And no, I won’t marry you out of some twisted obligation you feel about what happened. ”
He looks as broken as I feel when he tells me, “You’re my forever girl. If you leave me, you’ll always be the one that got away. I will never find what I have with you ever again. I love you. Please tell me you still feel something for me. ” He looks in my eyes and pleads, “Please, baby, please. I’m begging you. Tell me it’s not over. ”
That is the most beautiful and heart-wrenching thing anyone has ever told me. It’s heart-wrenching because I don’t know if this is something I can do anymore.
I respond quietly, “You don’t fall out of love with someone in a day, Nik. Of course I love you. You mean the world to me. But sometimes love isn’t enough. You’re compromising too much for me. You want kids and I won’t have them. ” I breathe in a shaky breath and go on. “You have no idea how damaged I am. I’m a lot of work, Nik. Don’t settle for damaged goods. You deserve the best of things. And that’s not me. Not even close, honey. ” I end on a whisper and all of a sudden feel like crying.
God, pull yourself together woman!