Sugar Rush (Friend-Zoned 3)
I let out a relived breath. “Thank you.”
A few minutes later, he pulls up and rolls down the window to tease, “Hey, I’m not going to get roughed up again, am I?”
I snort. “Jam
es Whittaker, you bite your tongue. As if I would let that happen. Besides, the bear is still asleep.”
My muffins and I slide inside and we drive on. I look over at him and smile to myself. Reaching over, I scratch at his bald head with my nails and he leans into it. “You need luck?”
Chuckling, I scratch harder. “Bucket loads of it.” I pull away and utter, “Thanks for the ride. I really need to get a car.”
He looks over at me, eyes searching my face. He frowns a little. “You look a little off today. Everything okay?”
James. He doesn’t skip a beat. I open the container of muffins and break one in half. Nibbling at one half, I shrug. “I don’t know. I mean, I thought I was fine…until last night. I think,” I sigh, “this is going to sounds stupid, but I think…” God, I’m such a loser. “…I think I’m lonely.”
As we stop at a traffic light, James turns to me. Without asking, he takes a muffin out of the container and bites into it. His eyes glaze over. “Man, that’s good.” He makes another noise of pleasure before stating, “That’s not unusual. Remember, I told you I moved here myself?” I nod. The traffic lights change and he looks to the road before adding, “Same thing happened to me. It’s a mixture of things though, isn’t it? It’s being homesick and away from your friends. It’s not being able to step outside and visit people, because you barely know anyone. It’s being single too, right?”
My eyes widen. “Wow. You really do know what I’m talking about.”
His lips thin. “Yep, I do. I never told you this, but I wouldn’t have stayed long if my mom and brother hadn’t moved down here. It’s hard being away from people you love. Lucky, you’ve got your sister and her extended family here. Can I ask you something?”
Looking over at him, I tell him, “You can ask me anything.” And I mean it.
“Why are you single?”
It takes me a moment to answer, because regardless of how many times I’ve justified staying out of a relationship, putting it into words is always harder. “When I love someone, I love them with everything I have inside of me. And when I love someone, I put their needs above my own.” I look at the road ahead. My chest pangs as I explain, “I can’t afford to do that. I worked so hard to get here, James. I remember while all my friends were going out, I was home studying my ass off. While my sisters were celebrating the end of the year with drinks and clubs, I was home studying my ass off. When people were meeting the people they would spend the rest of their lives with, I was home studying my ass off.” I take in a deep breath and add on an exhale, “I won’t give up what I’m doing, not for anyone. That’s why I’m single.”
“Sounds like a lonely life,” he mutters sadly.
Leaning my head against the window, I whisper, “It is, James. It really is.”
We drive on in silence, and I’m thankful for it.
***
Max
“What’s going on with you and Helena?” Ash asks as he walks into the chill out room.
I tilt my head and think about this for a moment before I state with a nod, “I like her.”
Ash pulls out a chair and turns it around before sitting on it and rolling his eyes. “You like yogurt. You don’t like Helena.”
I look down at my now-empty container of yogurt on the table. I smile in agreement. “I do like yogurt.”
“He does,” Trick cuts in from reading the paper on the sofa. I turn to find him smiling up at Ash like a fool. “He likes yogurt.”
My body shakes in silent laughter. Ash shakes his head in frustration. “Whatever.” He looks me in the eye. “Stay away from her.”
I lift my hands in the air. “I can’t do that, Ghost.”
His jaw tics. “What do you mean, you can’t? You can, and you will, if you like your teeth.”
Standing, I pick up my empty container and dump it in the trash. “Seriously, dude, I can’t. She’s agreed to doing private sessions with Ceecee.” I shrug. “No can do.”
His eyes turn deadly. “Keep your hands off of her.”
I tilt my head and think about this a moment before answering, “No.”