Down Jasper Lane (Amherst Island Trilogy)

Ellen turned her face away so he could only see her profile. “And is it clear to Aunt Ruth?”

Hamish shifted in his seat. “I don’t yet know a person who can fool your Aunt Ruth, and that’s a fact.”

Ellen turned back to him with a faint smile. “I suppose that’s true.”

“In any case, this isn’t about Louisa, Ellen. And goodness knows it’s not meant to be—well, some sort of punishment. We’re not sending you away.” Ellen gazed at him, her eyes so wide and clear it made Hamish uneasy, and he hurried to explain. “It’s what we’re sending you to, Ellen. Because... well... you’re not happy, are you?”

Ellen took a deep breath. “No,” she confessed quietly, “I’m not.”

“You see?” Hamish felt again that unsettling mixture of relief and disappointment. “I wish... I wish things could be different,” he told her awkwardly.

Ellen looked up at him, surprise evident in her young face. “You do?”

Hamish smiled sadly. The very fact that Ellen was surprised shamed him. “Of course I do, sweetheart.” He wished lots of things could have been different. He wished his brother Douglas hadn’t lit out the way he had, and he wished Ellen was happier here in Seaton. He wished she didn’t have to go all the way to Amherst Island to find a friend, and he wished he and Ruth had provided her with cousins. If they’d had children of their own, would they know what to do with Ellen now? Sighing, he touched her hair lightly. “We want what’s best for you, Ellen. I wish it could be us.” Ellen looked down, saying nothing, and Hamish wondered if she believed him. He wondered if he believed himself, for he recognized his own vague relief at the thought of Ellen’s eventual departure, mixed in with the sorrow and guilt. Having her around, so quiet and unhappy, could be uncomfortable, to say the least. “In any case, I think you’ll be happier on Amherst Island, with your McCafferty cousins.”

A small, sad smile curved her mouth. “Thank you, Uncle Hamish.”

And that, Hamish supposed, was that. He had a vague sense that he should ask more questions, make sure Ellen was satisfied with this plan. He’d never talked to her about Douglas, whether she missed her father. He realized he wasn’t about to start now. He nodded and slapped his knees as he made to rise. “You never know how life is going to treat you, I suppose, though your aunt would say it’s more how you treat life.”

Ellen watched her uncle rise, knew he was glad their little conversation was over. She felt a curious mix of elation and sorrow at the knowledge she would be returning to the island. Would she actually miss Seaton, and her aunt and uncle? Or did she simply miss what could have, at least in her childish dreams, once been? “When am I to go?” she asked.

“Next summer, a year from now,” Hamish replied. “I know it seems a long time, but your aunt thought you should have another year of proper schooling—”

“The island school is just as proper,” Ellen could not keep from protesting. Uncle Hamish gave a little smile.

“Maybe it’s because your aunt wants you here, Ellen, for another year at least. We might not be able to make you happy, sweetheart, but we do like having you around.”

Ellen said nothing. She couldn’t think of a single thing to say, except to deny quite vigorously that her aunt wanted her here. Aunt Ruth had never given her any indication of enjoying her company.

“In any case,” Uncle Hamish said, “I thought I’d tell you now. Something to look forward to, eh? And perhaps we can all make the best of the next year.”

“Yes, I hope so.” Still, her hopes sank like a stone. After Louisa had talked to her at school, she’d thought she might go to the island this summer, not the next. A whole year seemed like an eternity. Why, little baby Andrew would be walking and talking, and Peter would be nearly eleven! Jed, perhaps, would be in high school. Ellen had not yet heard how that battle had ended. She would miss so much.

She looked out the window, the stars pricking an indigo sky, and imagined the night settling softly on Jasper Lane, the oak trees’ leaves whispering in the evening air. One more year and she would be there, maybe for good.

Hamish made to leave, and then his gaze fell on the paper next to her. “What’s that?”

“Nothing—” Before Ellen could cover it, Hamish had picked up the sheet of paper and looked in surprise at the sketch of Ruth Ellen had drawn from memory. “I just...” she began, but trailed off, for the drawing, with Ruth’s surprisingly sad eyes, the weary set of her shoulders and the thin line of her mouth seemed all too revealing. Ellen hadn’t expected the drawing to turn out that way. When she thought of Ruth, she thought of a stony expression, hard eyes, self-righteous determination in every stern line of her body. Yet this drawing was completely different.

“It’s a good likeness,” Hamish said quietly. “You’ve quite a hidden talent there, Ellen. You told me you liked to draw, but I had no idea you were as capable as this.”

Ellen felt both surprised and discomfited by his quiet, almost sorrowful compliment. Did he see the sadness in Ruth’s eyes—both in the portrait and in life? “Thank you, Uncle Hamish.”

Hamish stroked his chin, still studying the portrait. “You could go far with that, you know.”

His words caused a strange thrill to run through her, even though Ellen couldn’t even begin to imagine where she would go with her drawing, or how. She gathered up the other sheets of paper, too shy to let her uncle see the rest. “I’m not sure I want to go anywhere with it,” s

he said. “It’s just something I do.”

“May I keep this?”

Ellen bit her lip. The only person she’d given a drawing to was Mam, yet she could hardly refuse her uncle. And it felt right for him to have it. “All right. I don’t know if Aunt Ruth will like it, though.”

“I won’t show it to her.” Uncle Hamish’s smile was still a little sad. “It’s just for me.” He carefully folded the drawing and tucked it in his breast pocket.

After he’d left, Ellen tucked her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on top, and gazed out again at the starry night. A whole year until she was back on Amherst Island! And yet perhaps, wondrously, she might be back forever. Maybe she’d go to high school in Kingston, if she worked up the courage to take the entrance exam and could figure out a way to pay for it.

“And no Louisa coming with me,” Ellen murmured with a little smile of relieved satisfaction, for surely Louisa would not want to go to Amherst Island with her now. Yet even as the thought of returning to the island filled her with hope, Ellen could not shake that twinge of sorrowful guilt that she had not found a home or happiness in Seaton. And she suspected that her uncle, and perhaps even her aunt, felt it as well.