Rage and Ruin (The Harbinger 2)

But Zayne wanted me.

I could feel how much he wanted me, through the bond and in the way his body trembled against mine, and I realized he wasn’t fighting this anymore.

And I... I stopped fighting.

I stopped thinking and worrying.

Our lips met, and the kiss was hard and deep, and when the tip of my tongue touched his, I was lost in the low sound that rumbled from the back of his throat.

Zayne pressed me against the wall, his hand cradling my face as he kissed me, rocking his hips against mine. Trapped as I was between him and the wall, there was no escaping the rush of sensations each roll of his hips brought forth. I moaned into his mouth, and whatever control Zayne might have had shattered.

With a powerful surge, he pulled me away from the wall and turned, his mouth never leaving mine as he walked backward. Somehow we made it to the bedroom. He laid me flat on my back, and only then did his mouth leave mine. His lips trailed a path down my neck as his hands slid under my shirt. His fingers curled around the material as he lifted his head. A question filled his luminous eyes, the stark need pouring from every inch of his face.

“Yes,” I told him.

His pupils constricted and then thinned into vertical slits. “Thank God.”

I would’ve laughed, but there wasn’t enough air in my lungs. I lifted my arms and shoulders, and he peeled my shirt off me and tossed it aside. He reared back, staring down at me as his chest rose and fell so heavily, it stretched the fabric of his shirt.

Zayne placed his palm on my stomach, just above my navel. “I’ve said this before, but I feel this need to say it again and again. You’re beautiful, Trinity.”

I felt beautiful when he looked at me like that, when he said my name like that, but then his hand moved, and all I could think about was his touch. His palm coasted up over my rib cage and then higher. My fingers curled into the thick comforter as his thumb glided in maddening circles around a most sensitive area.

Then his mouth followed his hand, and I arched into him, panting as I curled my legs around his hips, moving restlessly against him.

Zayne took his time, leaving me breathless when he finally blazed a path with his lips and tongue down the center of my stomach, lingering around my navel and then going lower. He easily broke the hold of my legs, pulling away as he tugged on my shorts.

I lifted my hips and with one quick movement, I was divested of all clothing. Everything. A heady flush swept across my body, and he followed it with his gaze.

“God, Trin.” His voice was guttural, almost unrecognizable.

Hands trembling, I raised up onto my elbows. “This isn’t fair.”

“It’s not?” He was still staring down at me.

“You still have all your clothes on.”

“I do.” Lashes lifted. “Want to do something about that?”

“Yeah. Yes.” I nodded just in case I hadn’t been verbally clear.

Zayne waited.

Sitting up, I grabbed his shirt and pulled. Material stretched and tore, giving way before I realized what I’d done.

“Oh. Crap.” I let go. The ruined material gaped, revealing taut golden skin. “Sorry?”

“Don’t be.” He chuckled. “That was really hot.”

I grinned.

Zayne tossed the shirt to the floor. I reached for his pants, managing to work the button free and the zipper down before he caught my wrists. “Not yet.”

“Why not?”

“Because there’s something I’ve been thinking about nonstop and I’ve been dying to do,” he said, holding my wrists. He came down and pinned my hands to the bed. His mouth covered mine, and then he started all over again. Kissing me breathless, senseless, until, when he let go of my hands, I couldn’t even move, but then he was following that path again, stopping at my breasts and then my navel before drifting lower and lower.

My eyes flew open when I felt his lips against my inner thigh. The sight of him there almost tipped me over the edge, and the feel of his tongue against my skin, drawing closer and closer, robbed me of the ability to speak.

I’d never done this.

Obviously.

A thousand thoughts entered my head, threatening to shatter the heat, but when he stopped, piercing me with those eyes when he looked up at me, I was...

I was found.

“Can I?” he asked.

Heat burned me from the inside. All I could do was nod, and then he said something that sort of sounded like a prayer.

The first touch of his mouth turned my muscles to liquid fire.

A sound came from me that surely would embarrass me later, but at that moment, I didn’t care. All there was in this world was him and what he was doing. I didn’t even know what I was doing until I was clutching his shoulder with one hand and had a fistful of hair in the other. I was moving against him, as much as I could with his hand flat on my stomach, holding me in place as he...as he feasted.

I lost all sense of myself, of control, and it was glorious. No worry. No shame. No fear. Just everything he was drawing out of me with every sweep and dip and—

All at once it was too much—the tightening, the coiling deep inside me. The liquid rush of raw sensations pouring and pounding through me. My fingers dug into his shoulder as I jerked my head back, gasping for air as my release whipped through me. I was trembling and shaking by the time he eased away from me, lifting his head. He planted a hand next to my hip and it took a moment for my eyes to focus on him.

“Zayne,” I gasped, trying to catch my breath.

A slow smile pulled at his lips. “I think you liked that.” He dipped his head, kissing my stomach. “I know I did.”

“I did.” I swallowed, my heart thrumming. I eased up on my grip. “That’s not all of it, though.”

“No.” Those lips brushed over a swell as his hair tickled the side of my ribs. “It isn’t, but it can be.”

I dragged my hands down his arms, nervous anticipation replacing the sated languidness. “And what if...what if I wanted it all?”

Zayne lifted his head, his features almost stark. He didn’t speak.

“Do you want that?” I whispered.

“God. Yes.” His voice was rough. “I do.”

My heart jumped as I took a shallow breath. “I’m ready.”

“So am I,” he said, and I knew what that meant for him. I knew what it meant for me. I felt it all when he kissed me again. “One second.”

I didn’t quite know what to do with myself as he rolled off and stood, his jeans hanging indecently low as he went to a dresser. I sort of just lay there, curling my legs up as he opened a drawer.

“A condom?” I flushed. Which was stupid. If I couldn’t say condom, then I probably shouldn’t be doing what one needed a condom for.

“Yeah.” He turned, holding a small foil between his fingers. “I know that neither of us can pass diseases even if we’d been with anyone, but...”

“Pregnancy,” I whispered, arching a brow. That I hadn’t thought of it was alarming, mainly because I wasn’t sure that could even happen. “Is that possible?”

“I don’t know. You’re not completely human,” he said, coming back to the bed. He tossed it on the comforter, and for some reason I wanted to giggle. “So, probably wise to be safe.”

“Yes.” I nodded, because, hello, not only would a baby be a terrible idea at the moment, there was a good chance I’d be the absolute worse parent known to the history of the world.

Even I could recognize that.

Zayne grinned and reached for his pants. I thought maybe I should look away, but I couldn’t. Not even if a chupacabra tap-danced across the room.

When his pants hit the floor, I had a feeling I would’ve also hit the floor if I’d been standing. The first time we’d kissed—that we’d done anything—the room had been dark, and neither of us had been standing. I hadn’t seen him.

I saw him now, and my mouth sort of dried. I felt a little dizzy and hot—really hot.

“If you keep staring at me like that,” he said, pressing a knee onto the bed and then a hand by my shoulder. “Then this is going to be very disappointing for you.”

“I don’t see how.” I dragged my gaze to his face. “At all.”

He laughed as he settled beside me, placing his hand on my stomach. “Because it would end fairly quickly.”

“Have faith,” I teased. “You got this.”

And he did.

Starting over like it was the first time he’d touched me, he got reacquainted with all the dips and swells of my body with his hands and his lips. It wasn’t until my breaths were coming in short, shallow pants that he reached for that foil and then, after a moment, shifted so that he was over me, his weight braced on one arm as his lower body lined up with mine.

I knew this was it. There was no more pumping the brakes or pulling away, even though I knew if I did, he’d stop. But that wasn’t what I wanted.

Zayne stared down at me, eyes so pale and yet so bright. His lips parted, and I thought... I thought he might say something, but then he kissed me as he reached between us.

There was a pinch, a feeling of pressure and fullness. The feeling stole my breath and Zayne’s. He stilled above me, arms and body trembling.

Waiting.

Waiting until I told him it was okay, and when I did, he moved again, and within a heartbeat, there was no space between our bodies. There was a sharp, burning bite that snapped my eyes open wide.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, kissing my left cheek, then my right. Another dropped on the tip of my nose and then glanced over my damp brow. “I’m sorry.”

Hands shaking, I smoothed them down his back, feeling his muscles bunched and tensed. “It’s okay. It...it happens.”

“I wish it didn’t.” He pressed his forehead against mine. “I don’t want you to feel pain.”

Pain was a part of life. Sometimes it left scars, physical and mental. Sometimes it led to something worse, and sometimes, like this, I thought it might be a necessary step toward something amazing.