The Truest Thing (Hart's Boardwalk 4)

“I love you, I love you so fucking much, don’t you get it?”

We’d had sex in the car. It was not our first time. And frankly, back then, sex hadn’t been a big deal for me. It was okay. I did it because Tripp liked it so much and I loved him. But his intensity, his passion for me, had excited me that night. It was the first time he’d made me come during sex.

I was so naive. For minutes after that moment, I’d felt guilty for not having faith in him.

“I believed him. Ten minutes later, a car came careening around the corner too fast and slid onto our side of the road. Tripp swerved to avoid it and we hit a tree. He sustained a concussion and a broken arm, and I had broken ribs. And our families found out about us.”

“What happened?”

“Somehow, and I do not know how because Tripp’s car was totaled, but my grandmother found out that a”—I looked away and sighed in half embarrassment, half frustration—“used condom was recovered from the vehicle. She asked if we were having sex, and I said yes. She asked for how long. I told her. And I also explained that I loved him.” I turned to Jack. “She lost her ever-loving mind. She said he was just using me to get his claws into the Paxton Group. That his father was a ruthless, ambitious bastard she’d been trying to oust from Paxton Aeronautical for eighteen months. She called the police.”

“Shit.”

I shook my head, remembering the mortification and guilt and shame she’d made me feel. “She wanted Tripp charged with statutory rape, but since I was seventeen, the police couldn’t do much. And I wouldn’t admit to them what I’d admitted to her about our relationship starting before then.”

“Em.”

Hearing his censure, I narrowed my eyes. “I stand by it, Jack. She tried to have him charged with rape but rape didn’t happen. Should he have pursued a relationship with me? No. Maybe I was mature in other ways, but I was a lonely, vulnerable kid, and he took advantage. But I wasn’t going to ruin his life over it by slapping a sex offense on his record.”

He sighed heavily. “Okay, sunrise.”

“It didn’t matter anyway. She told me she’d prove he was just trying to use me.” I reached for my decaf, needing something in my hands. Although the pain had faded, I still remembered how much it hurt to realize my grandmother was right. “She got us all in a room together. Tripp, me, his father. And she offered to back Mr. Van Der Byl from now on as long as he promised to keep his focus on Aeronautical and no other part of the company. And then she offered Tripp $20 million and a high position in any area of the Paxton Group he wished to take after graduation … so long as he stayed away from me.”

“Holy shit.” Jack sat forward, anger darkening his gaze.

“He took it. And not just because his father immediately urged him to. Tripp didn’t even look at his dad or me. Wearing this smug little smirk like he’d won, he just said, ‘I accept your terms, Mrs. Paxton.’”

“And just like that …” Emotion clogged my throat. “I was alone again.”

“Fuck … Em—”

“Oh, it gets worse, Jack. My grandmother made me get tested for STIs. I naively told her, with much embarrassment, that we’d always used protection. And I had to sit through the most uncomfortable, mortifying reminder given by my grandmother that you can catch an STI from oral sex.” I gave him a pained smile, and Jack shook his head in sympathy.

“Sunrise …” He sounded just as pained for me.

“Yup.” My smile fell. “He gave me chlamydia.”

Understanding dawned and the muscle ticked in his jaw as he looked away.

“It’s not evidence that he cheated. He could’ve had it from before … but between that text I found and the proof that he’d been using me all along, I think he was most definitely cheating on me the entire time.”

Jack rested his elbows on his knees and held his head in his hands. “You think I’m just like him?”

“No,” I rushed to assure him.

Jack’s head flew up and he gave me a disbelieving glare. “You think I’d fuck around on you.”

“That’s not what I’m saying. I’m trying to explain why I find it so hard to trust people.” I stood, my agitation making me restless. “For so long after moving here, it wasn’t just my shyness that stopped me from letting people in. It was the fear of being hurt again … because he broke my heart, Jack.” Tears filled my eyes. “Everyone I’d ever loved before moving here had broken my heart. And I know now that my feelings for him were borne from the desperation of a kid who needed someone to love her. I know that now. But it doesn’t change the way I felt back then. Or how easily he fooled me.”

“Em—”

“No, let me explain.” I held his hurt gaze even though it filled me with remorse. “When we met, all those fears just … I didn’t feel them with you. There was something about you I instinctively trusted. I once told you that you have the kindest eyes of any man I’ve ever met. I spoke the truth. And I wanted to believe in them, in you. And even though I told myself it was stupid, I couldn’t help it. I wanted

to trust you. I wanted … I wanted you.”

Something soft, something like awe, filled his eyes. “Sunrise.”

“But you kept hurting me, Jack, whether you meant it or not. The other women. Pushing me away. Vanessa. Abandoning me after we made love, hours after your father held me at gunpoint.”