Fragile Eternity (Wicked Lovely 3)

“You could be happy with us. Stay with us, and you’d be near Aislinn too,” Tracey murmured to Seth. “We don’t want you to leave us too.”

“The queen is just struggling.” Siobhan’s words were to Seth, but she stared at Niall as she spoke. “That happens sometimes when people want things that confuse them. You shouldn’t leave her behind.”

“I wasn’t leaving. I was…I just need some space.” Seth glanced across the street. The windows of the loft were open. Plants from inside and outside crowded into them. Wanting closer to her. To them. He didn’t want to explain his feeling to anyone, not his friend, not the Summer Girls. Somehow his business had become public; too many people knew things that should be private. A burst of anger filled him at the thought. “I’m not…I’m just done with dealing with this right now.”

He turned and started walking. Either Niall would come with him, a rowan guard would follow, or one of the glaistigs would take the task. No leaving me un-watched. He didn’t choose to be a subject of Faerie, but he was. Court affiliation or not, he was under their control. I did choose it when I chose her. Right now though, with the image in his head of Aislinn resting in Keenan’s bed, that realization wasn’t much comfort.

Niall was silent as they walked to Seth’s train. He was silent as Seth filled the kettle and measured the tea. He was even silent as Seth fed Boomer. Faeries could do patience far better than Seth could; even with years of practicing meditation, Seth’s calm felt too easily rattled.

He poured the boiling water from the kettle into the small teapot Aislinn had found for him in some shop. When she was a mortal. Seth pushed that thought away. She wasn’t mortal. She wasn’t going to be ever again. Waiting for things to get better wasn’t good enough. Things could stay as they were, or they could move forward.

Seth sat down across from his friend. “Even Tracey is stronger than I am.”

“You’re a mortal.” Niall held his still empty cup. “If you hadn’t lost your charm—”

“I didn’t lose it.”

“Point.” Niall took the teapot and poured their cups. “It’s difficult I’m sure…”

“You have no idea.” Seth’s snort of laughter even sounded bitter to him. “You’ve never been human. You’re all so damn perfect, so strong, so…everything. That’s what Ash needs.”

“Don’t go there,” Niall cautioned. “Nothing you could follow that with is wise.”

“What would have happened if Aobheall was in a different mood?”

“The girls didn’t mean you harm. Not really. If Ash wasn’t so distracted right now—” Niall stopped himself. “If you need out of our world, I will help you. Maybe you should consider going.”

“That isn’t what I want.” Seth sipped his tea. He felt like Aislinn was slipping away, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he’d be able to stay in her world as a mortal. She didn’t call him when she was hurt because he was too vulnerable. The conflict between the courts was growing. It felt like he needed out or in; being halfway between worlds wasn’t a viable plan.

Seth sat his cup down and told Niall, “I want to be a faery.”

Niall looked appalled. “No, you don’t.”

Seth poured another cup of tea. “I’m not interested in dying or in leaving her. I’m not strong enough to stand against the weakest faeries. I can’t resist a glamour…I need to be a faery.”

Niall stared at him. “This is a bad plan, my friend. Trust me.”

Seth paused then. My friend. A faery’s use of such terms was a gift, not done lightly, not to be ignored. “I value your friendship, Niall, and I trust you completely. That’s not at question.”

Niall’s tense expression relaxed a bit.

Then Seth continued, “But I won’t change my mind just because you disagree. You know me better than that. Help me?”

Niall got up and paced. “I’m tempted. Despite knowing it would be selfish of me, despite knowing it would destroy you if

I helped you do this thing, despite how much I care for you…I’m still tempted.”

“You’re losing me.” Seth dumped the ashtray he’d set out for Niall. He might accept his friend’s smoking, but the stench of cigarette butts disgusted him. “Explain.”

“Two courts can work together to create a curse like Irial and Beira did—but I won’t curse you. The only other choice is going through Sorcha, and there would be a cost there as well.”

“What kind of cost?”

“With Sorcha? Probably my becoming a bit mortal, you becoming a bit twisted…Balance. Exchange. That’s her deal.” Niall paused; his stillness seemed almost as jarring as his pacing had been. “She could shift essences. I would assume some of your mortality, making me unfit to be Dark King. I would be done with the burden that Irial foisted off onto me, and you would assume some of my…nature.”

“So you win. You get out of here, and I get to—”

“No.” Niall walked to the sink and rinsed his cup.