It’s time to shoot my final shot.
I speed across town with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company. I don’t even bother turning on the radio. Instead, I play through every word in my head, everything I’ll say to try to get her to open her eyes.
When I make it to her building downtown, the guy behind the desk in the lobby calls Jess to buzz me up. But the dude frowns after a moment, murmuring a yes, miss before handing me the phone.
“Bear? What are you doing here?”
I clear my throat. “I, um, I was looking for Erin. Is she around?”
“She’s studying at the Grove library, got a big exam tomorrow morning.” She pauses. “Is everything okay?”
“Uh, yeah, I just…” I grab the back of my neck, wondering how much I should lie here since no one really knows anything about me and Erin other than that we’re casual friends. “She left her sweater at the restaurant when we were with my family, so I was just bringing it back.”
“At midnight on a Saturday?” Jess challenges.
Shit.
After a moment, she sighs. “Look… I know what happened between you two.”
I blanch. “You do?”
“She told me a while back… about how she was pregnant… and… well…”
Oh.
That.
“I just need to talk to her,” I say.
Jess is quiet for a moment before she sighs again. “You know where the Grove campus is, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Park by the Philips Building and follow the winding path through the park. The library is about a quarter mile into the center of campus, it’s the big white building with the gold windows. I think she usually studies on the third floor with her study group, in one of the corner rooms.”
“Thanks, Jess.”
“You love her, don’t you?”
I freeze, eyeing the guy behind the desk, who’s impatiently waiting for me to give the phone back and get out of his lobby.
“Afraid so,” I murmur.
Jess makes a noise that sounds like she laughed and clapped at the same time. “I fucking knew it.”
“Doesn’t mean she feels the same.”
“Doesn’t mean she doesn’t, either. Give her hell, tiger.”
I hand the phone back to the guy behind the desk, and then I’m back in my truck and headed across town to the Grove campus.
Jess’s instructions are right on the money, and I find my way to the library easy enough. There’s a student at the front desk scanning ID cards to let people in, but it’s so late that she’s got her nose buried in a book, so I open the door as quietly as I can and sneak through, ducking around the first corner before she spies me.
I have no idea where I’m going. I don’t even know where the elevators or stairs are. But eventually, I find my way, and make it to the third floor. In the middle, there are long, wooden tables spanning the room that’s not covered in bookshelves, and students pepper every other chair, laptops and textbooks open and headphones over their ears. Along the edges of the room are a dozen study group rooms.
I start with the first one.
It only takes me six times of bursting through the door and apologizing to confused groups of students before I find the one Erin is in.
Her eyes go wide when she sees me, and the rest of her group is already yelling at me that they have the room reserved for the night. I ignore them all, standing in the doorway with my heart beating so fast and hard it’s all I hear in my ears.
My hands are cold and curled at my sides.
Every breath feels like my last.
And all I can focus on is Erin Xanders and the way I burn for her, a truth I can no longer hide.
“Bear?” she asks, looking around the table apologetically before she stands and folds her arms over her chest. “What are you doing here? The library is for students on—”
“I’m graduating, Erin.”
She tucks her hair behind her ear, cheeks pink with embarrassment. “I’m well aware of that. And I know I was supposed to go to formal with you tonight, but—”
“But you didn’t,” I finish for her. “Because I kissed you earlier this week, and I scared you. I scared myself, too.”
Her study group is suddenly very interested, every single one of them looking between me and Erin with intrigue.
“Bear, this isn’t the place.”
“Where is, hmm? Because isn’t this the way it always is with us? It’s not the right time. It’s not the right place. There’s someone else in the picture. There’s always something standing between us.” I shake my head. “I’m done with making excuses. This is it for me, Erin. I’m out of time.”
Erin swallows, crossing her arms tighter, but she doesn’t tell me to leave again.
I take it as my sign to say whatever I have to say.