Wicked and True (Wicked & Devoted 4)

That one look told her she’d crushed him.

“Zy… I’m sorry. So sorry,” she sobbed. “I never wanted to hurt you. I—”

“You destroyed us both, and now you have to live with it.”

Of course he thought that. And with all the anger, betrayal, and lies between them, he would never trust her again.

Tessa didn’t know what would happen next. All she knew was that she loved Zy more than she thought possible, that fate and criminals had put them on opposite sides of this mess…and there was no way out.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he said abruptly as he lifted her off his still-hard cock, then set her in a heap at his feet and stood.

She scrambled up from the concrete. “I didn’t do it to hurt you. If you believe anything at all, believe that.”

“You still betrayed me. You lied to me. You played me,” he muttered as he buttoned his fly with shaking hands.

“I didn’t. I never played you. I never would,” she hurled, hot tears clawing at her eyes. “Everything I felt for you was real.”

“Bullshit. Every time I fucked you, you were really fucking me.”

“No.” She shook her head. “You don’t know what happened, what they did…”

“I do, and you’re going to explain everything because everyone we work with deserves to know the truth. But your words don’t mean anything to me anymore.”

His harshness took her apart. She didn’t want to cry in front of him, but she couldn’t help herself. The pain of losing him—on top of everything else—was more than she could bear. It was all she could do not to fall to her knees.

But she refused. She didn’t want to regret everything. All she could control was the way she reacted.

“Stop crying.” His voice sounded strained, as if her pain caused his.

“I’m trying,” she sobbed out.

“I can’t take it. Jesus…” He grabbed her shoulders and tried to keep her at arm’s length, but a handful of seconds later, he shook his head. “Fuck.”

Then he pulled her closer, giving her his comfort. Tessa clung to him, grateful for his warmth. Until she realized it was nothing more than pity.

Gathering all her strength, she sniffled and wrenched free. “I’ll be fine. What do you want to know?”

He swallowed, not quite meeting her gaze. “Did you have anything to do with Kimber’s kidnapping? You better tell me the fucking truth. I will find out and—”

“No. Absolutely nothing. I swear.” Even the idea horrified her. “I was as shocked as you were. I would never… She’s my friend.”

Zy just raised a brow at her.

“Whatever you believe, if you ever loved me at all, the me you know”—she slapped an earnest palm to her bare chest—“then believe I would never have hurt her. Ever.”

“Right. You’d just hurt me. Got it.”

Did he not understand? “What the fuck did you expect me to do?”

“Honestly? I expected you to love me someday. I expected you to be my goddamn wife, let me be a father to Hallie, and to let me give you more children so we could spend fifty fucking years together. But I never expected you to look me in the face and smile while you stabbed me in the back.”

“If you think I gave the enemy secrets just to hurt you, then you don’t understand me at all. You never loved me. And you’re right; we don’t have anything to say. Get Trees in here. I’ll explain everything I’ve done. Maybe he won’t throw my mistakes in my face.”

Then, because it hurt too much to look at him, she scampered to her blanket, wrapped it around herself, and held back the tears tightening her throat.

She’d cried for the last time for Chase Garrett.

Zy raked a hand through his hair as he stared at Tessa’s stiff back, wrapped protectively in the quilt again. She’d shut him out. No surprise. He’d said things designed to cut her as much as her lies had shredded him. Now, seeing that he’d hurt her, he wished he’d kept his fucking mouth shut.

Was it even possible he’d misread everything and fucked up? Or was that his stupid, hopeful heart trying to absolve her of guilt for his own sanity?

Probably. She’d sold him out; they both knew it. Still, she wasn’t the sort to act as if she’d been wronged without a damn good reason, and now he had a nagging feeling he didn’t know the whole story.

Zy wasn’t sure what to believe anymore except that Tessa wasn’t the only one he couldn’t trust. He’d come to interrogate her…and ended up violating her instead. He shouldn’t have, but he hadn’t been able to control himself for even ten fucking minutes. Now, he seethed with anger. He didn’t know what to do next, how to handle her, or how to make the goddamn pain ravaging his chest stop. He wanted to trust her…but didn’t. He tried to hate her…but he couldn’t.