My Kind of Beautiful (Finding Love 2)

“Thank you,” I tell him, pressing my mouth to his. Our lips curl around each other, and Alec’s hands find my face, deepening the kiss. I can tell he’s treating me like glass, worried I’ll break, and I hate that I’m scared that he might not be wrong.

I focus on staying in the now, refusing to let any of those horrible flashes ruin the moment. But the second his hand glides to the back of my head and his fingers thread through the strands of my hair, tugging gently on my bun, the picture Aiden drew flashes behind my lids.

Me being thrust onto the rock.

My knees screaming in pain

A man behind me, fisting my hair.

My scalp is burning.

My neck is straining.

He’s squeezing my breast.

Pain is radiating through my body.

And then….Everything goes black.

“Lexi!” Alec screams, snapping me back to the present.

My eyes dart around and I realize I’m huddled in a corner, in a fetal position.

“Baby, you’ve got to talk to me,” Alec begs. “Why are you crying? Did I hurt you?”

He’s so confused and worried and I owe him an explanation. I hate what this is doing to him, to us.

But the moment the words leave my mouth will make them real, and I don’t think I can handle that. It’s hard enough thinking them, I can’t actually speak them.

“You didn’t hurt me. I—” I take a deep breath. “I’m having flashes from the night I was attacked.”

Alec drops to the floor and sits Indian style, giving me space and his full attention.

“I think it was Jason who attacked me.”

Alec’s eyes widen slightly.

“Aiden said it was a mean surfer,” I add. “So it would make sense.” I swallow thickly. “In my flashbacks, the guy calls me a tease.” Just like Jason did the night he saw me with Alec.

I can tell he’s trying really hard to remain calm for my sake, but his hands are fisted and turning white, and his jaw is ticking like it’s about to crack, giving away he’s anything but calm.

I consider telling him what else I think, but before I can, he stands and says, “I’m going to kill him.”

“Alec, you can’t.” I stand as well. “You would go to jail, lose your job. I can’t lose you.” I wrap my arms around his waist.

“You have to report him. The cops need to know.”

“It will be my word versus his, and all I have are some flashes, which may or may not be real. They’ve yet to get him for keying my jeep or slashing my tires.”

Alec sighs. “What about Aiden?”

“I don’t want to put him through that.” I place my hands on his chest, hoping it’ll calm him. “I know this is a lot to ask, but whatever he did, he did to me, and as of right now I don’t even know what that is. I’ve seen all the shows. A woman goes into the station and accuses a man of something she isn’t sure he did. Nobody takes her seriously.”

“This isn’t a show, Lexi. This is your life.”

“I know, and if I was sure of what happened, I would go. But I’m not, and I don’t want to throw shit out there that won’t stick.”

He nods. “Okay, I don’t like it, but I’ll do whatever you want. But I’m telling you right now, if I see him somewhere with no one around, all bets are off.”

Alec

It’s four in morning and I need to wake Lexi up soon so she can get ready to head to Huntington Beach for the surf competition. It’s a day she’s been working toward for months. But as I watch her whimper in her sleep, something that’s become the norm since she was attacked on the beach, I don’t have the heart to wake her yet. On one hand, her whimpering means she’s probably having a nightmare, and if I wake her it would stop, but on the other hand, since she rarely sleeps anymore, I hate to wake her up when she’s actually sleeping.

Her lips form a soft pout and I run my thumb across them, trying to straighten them out. I hate to see her like this: lost in herself. I can’t confirm what’s been going through her head, and I know she isn’t giving me all the pieces, but I’ve put enough of the puzzle together to take a guess as to why she’s struggling. Why she jumps when I kiss and hold her. Why we haven’t had sex since that night. I want to be there for her, but I’m trying to give her space. I’m afraid if I push too hard, Lexi will break.

Her hand reaches out, and when it finds me, she snuggles into my chest. I love that even in her sleep she’s drawn to me. I’ve spent the last few weeks asking around for Jason. He’s apparently gone MIA and nobody knows anything about him. Not his last name, where he lives. It’s almost as if the guy doesn’t even exist. I’m hoping for Lexi’s sake he isn’t at the comp today, but a small part of me would love to finally be able to get my hands on him.