Sick Heart: A Dark MMA Fighter Romance

I start walking towards the door, but it opens before I get there.

I stop in my tracks, my heart suddenly beating so fast I can’t breathe.

Because Lazar walks in holding Ainsey.

He smiles at me.

Like we’re old friends.

Then he looks past me, at Udulf, and says, “I found one I like. This one will do just fine.”

And then he kisses my daughter on the cheek.

CHAPTER THIRTY ONE - ANYA

Seeing Udulf again triggers something inside me.

Not some killer instinct, unfortunately, but memories. I’m trying to tuck them all down as this conversation happens between Maart, Cort, and Udulf—but when Lazar enters the house holding Ainsey, I lose control and things begin to… slip.

I am seven years old again. Everything on my body hurts and Udulf is the one responsible for all that pain. But I am a trooper. I am a survivor. I am a warrior. This man will not be the one to kill me. My death will not happen here.

We are in an unkept castle in the mountains of Romania. With its peeling plaster, uneven floorboards, and broken windows—this property has seen better days.

It’s not Udulf’s house. I don’t know who owns this place, I just know it’s not his. It’s not even whole. It’s a place they bring kids like me so they can do things to us.

Not just sex.

He could do that on his boat.

He could do that in his home.

He could do that anywhere he wants.

No. That’s not what this place is for.

This place is for the things they can only do in old abandoned castles in the mountains of Romania.

But Udulf is alone. It’s just him and me and he’s got his computer open so he can play a movie on repeat.

It’s a horrific movie.

I know they like to film it.

I get it. I’ve seen it all before. I am seven now and I’ve been doing this for years. Almost nothing can shock me but this movie shocks me.

It is mostly of Lazar and Udulf. Years ago, but not that many years ago.

To my seven-year-old eyes the man sitting on the bed with me is old. But to my eighteen-year-old memory, Udulf is probably only in his mid-thirties.

In the movie he and Lazar are much younger versions of themselves. They are in a shipyard and they are running between the containers. Laughing, mostly. But Lazar is also screaming threats to the children they are chasing.

Every few seconds another man or running child will appear. Just a flash. They are not important. They are not the focus of Udulf’s obsession.

The two children he is obsessed with are caught. They are naked, they are filthy, their feet are bleeding, and the little one—the boy with the silver-gray eyes that so perfectly match Udulf’s own—is cowering at the feet of the little girl.

His sister, I now know. She has those eyes too. She is what Ainsey will look like in a few short years.

I know what happens next.

Udulf played it for me dozens of times. He made me watch it with him for hours. He narrated the entire thing in Dutch, thinking I couldn’t understand.

But the Dutch was already there in my head and all the things he said tunneled their way inside me like worms. They got stuck there with the images on the screen.

Udulf raped the little girl while Lazar filmed it.

Then Lazar skinned her alive while Udulf held the camera.

The boy just watched.

Silent.

He said nothing.

I didn’t understand much that night.

I didn’t know why they did these evil, awful, sick things to that little girl.

I didn’t know why Udulf didn’t kill me that night at the crumbling Romanian castle.

I didn’t know why he kept me there until morning, but never put another hand on me. He just watched that movie over and over again on repeat.

And I didn’t understand why he took me back to Lazar.

Not at the time.

Not for a long time.

The only thing I did understand were his words.

I had no use for words after that.

There was simply nothing left to say about this world.

Cort lunges at Lazar, Udulf’s mercs point their rifles at Cort’s head, Rainer grabs his arm and pulls Cort back just as his fist passes through the air in front of Lazar’s face. There is screaming, and yelling, and the entire time I just stand there unable to move.

I just watch, the way Cort watched in that movie.

Then I snap out of it and drag myself back into the present.

What the hell just happened? I try to run it through in my head. But nothing makes sense. Maart, Rainer, and even Evard have chosen to stay?

Why? Why would they do that? They are free. They can walk out of here. Go anywhere they want. Leave these evil assholes behind. But they want to stay? Maart wants a fight?

All the men in the room are yelling and Cort is spewing threats at everyone. He tries to grab Ainsey from Lazar, but Lazar pulls her back. Then the mercs step in, grab Cort by the arms, and ziptie his wrists.