Sick Heart: A Dark MMA Fighter Romance

We seem to do a lot of sighing.

Are we frustrated? Or tired? Or giving up?

I don’t know.

Maybe for me, it’s all three.

CHAPTER TWELVE - CORT

I have seen monsters in my day. Hell, I’ve become one.

I fight the king’s fights. I kill the king’s enemies. I accept the king’s prize and I live under the king’s rules.

I do the king’s bidding.

It’s a bad lot in life, no doubt. But it’s nothing compared to what some do for the king. And I’m starting to get the feeling that Anya was one of the some.

She has done things and she will never forget them.

It would be easy to assume Anya is one of the strong ones. She has made it longer than any other slave in her king’s house. What is she? Seventeen? Eighteen? She might even be as old as twenty. That’s an amazing accomplishment for a sex slave.

She is not a whore. There is a very definite difference in these two things in the world of kings. Sex slaves are children and whores are women.

She might be turned in to one, if Udulf has his way. Pimped out to other kings. A prize, perhaps? For some favor. She might even make it to a breeder. She has a nice face, a perfect, athletic body, and she’s smart enough to keep her mouth shut.

But that’s not really Udulf’s style. He doesn’t like to put his trophies on the shelf. He does not admire them. He uses them.

He will use her. Any way he feels fit.

I slip my shorts down my legs, turn towards the shower, and put Anya out of my mind. She is not your problem, Cort. You have your circle. You fought hard for them. They have fought hard for you. You drew a line, you made your choice, and now you are weeks away from freedom. Mere weeks. After twenty-seven years, you will finally, finally have your own life.

And I refuse to feel guilty about the ones I’m leaving behind.

I am no one’s savior.

I am no one’s hope.

And maybe Anya did help me that night on the ship, but I fought for her too. She is alive because of me. She is here, out of Udulf’s hands, because of me.

But she saved you too, Cort. And she might have a secret you can use.

No. I’m not getting caught up in her. I’m done with this shit. I turn the water on. Then I push her underneath it and step in next to her, wetting myself down, but just enough to coat our bodies with the water. Then I turn it off again, take her hand, squirt some shampoo into her palm, and then do the same for me.

We wash ourselves in silence. Me gazing one way, her the other. Pretending the other doesn’t exist.

I grab the dried-out bar of soap I brought up here last night and rub it over my skin. The scent reminds me of a hospital, which makes no sense, because I’ve never been to a real hospital. Every medical procedure I’ve ever had was done by Maart.

This makes me smile. I flip the water back on to rinse, but also to hide the smile.

Maart. He’s not a doctor, but he has saved my ass more times than I can count. Saving him back is the least I can do.

And Rainer has had my back in more underground training centers than I can count. You don’t start out fighting in the Ring of Fire. There are no cheering fans in the early days. You are dropped off at the event and if you win, you’re picked up when it’s over.

And trust me when I say this—when you’re in a third-world country, fighting a local rising star, the natives aren’t very happy when their ticket out dies.

I owe Rainer.

Evard never did anything for me but bring me a bottle of Lectra and then judge my bad behavior the next day.

I actually chuckle at that, then remember that Anya is behind me. I step out of the water and point for her to take my place. She is not looking at me, so I push her underneath the water.

I’m done, so I walk over to the pack I brought up and take out two towels. It’s still hot out tonight, but the sun is low on the horizon and the unbearable stuffiness has subsided until morning. By the time I’m dry and dressed in a clean pair of shorts, Anya is done. I shut the water off, throw her a towel, then point to the pack and walk away.

I don’t want to think about her.

She is not my problem. Hell, she’s damn lucky I talked Udulf out of taking her today. That will have consequences at some point. So the way I see it, she owes me. And I fully plan on getting her secrets before Udulf comes back. All of them.