The Dirty Ones

Sofia disappears into the bathroom, and by the time Kiera has knotted my tie around my neck, she emerges, smiling that smile as Kiera slips past her, fingertips trailing along the red silk covering her belly, and disappears into the bathroom to clean up.

I just stare at Sofia, enjoying her smile. No, I don’t love her. Don’t long for her, don’t dream secret dreams about her. But—

Kiera emerges and says, “Go,” pointing to the bathroom. “Clean up and we’ll meet you out in the library.”

I get up and walk forward, leaning in to kiss Kiera. Taking my time as I do it. Placing my hand across her soft cheek.

“Go,” she whispers into our kiss.

Kiera closes the door and then I listen as they let Camille in.

“Fucking perverts,” Camille says loudly. “So tacky, Sofia.”

And then I hear Kiera’s fading response as she leaves the room. “Fuck you, Camille.”

I smile as I splash cold water on my face, watching in the mirror as I grab for a hand towel and dry off.

“What are you doing?” I ask the reflection.

But the only answer I have is… “What I’m supposed to.”

It’s a weird response. I think I realize that. But it’s all I’ve got.

I finger-comb my hair, which is messed up from Kiera’s wandering hands, and straighten my tie.

Satisfied, I pull the door open and step back into the bedroom.

“I hope it was worth it,” Hayes says.

He’s sitting in a chair just off to my right.

“Jesus Christ, Hayes. What are you doing?”

He’s sitting casually, one ankle propped up on one knee, head tilted to the side, eyeing me cautiously. “Probably a question you should be asking yourself, don’t you think?”

“It’s none of your business.”

“Not yet,” Hayes says. “But it will be soon.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Just wait,” he says, getting to his feet. “Come on. Dinner’s ready downstairs.”

“I thought we were eating here?”

“Camille protested. So we’re going to the dining room.”

“Did they catch Emily?”

“No. They’re bringing in dogs.”

“That’s fucking ridiculous.”

“Well.” He shrugs. “Ninety-seven rooms, Connor. What choice do we have? She could be hiding anywhere. It’ll take days. Believe me, I pulled this trick millions of times as a kid.”

I picture Hayes as a small, trouble-making boy, playing a solo game of hide-and-seek with his… parents? No. That almost makes me laugh. His nanny. And the other servants. Hell, he probably had the entire kitchen staff looking for him too.

A mini-manhunt for wild, little Hayes.

Yes. That’s something that definitely happened.

“It’s cruel what you’re doing,” Hayes says, hand pausing on the doorknob.

“What are you talking about?”

“Kiera. Leading her on like this. I heard you, ya know. We all heard what you said to her.”

“I’m not leading her on.”

“She’s not yours, Con.”

I laugh. “She kinda is, dude. Always has been.”

“No,” Hayes says. “I mean, she’s not your future. Sofia has always been your future. Or someone like her. Do you really think they’re gonna let you settle down with a middle-class woman who writes erotica?” Hayes laughs. Too loud. “You can’t really believe that.”

“Who?” I ask. “My parents? They want me to find love. All parents want that. And I think I love her.”

“This has nothing to do with love, Connor. You know that. This is business. This is politics. This is your family name.”

“They’re not gonna care—”

“Why do you think we’re all here? So we can just… fall back into old habits?”

“We’re here because you made us come.”

“The book, Connor. This is all about you.”

“Fuck off, man. This is about all of us. Except Kiera. She’s just an innocent bystander caught up in something bigger than she realizes.”

“God, you’re stupid.”

I push his hand off the doorknob and open the door myself.

Everyone is looking somewhere else. Camille stares into the drink she’s holding. Bennett at his phone. Sofia is studying artwork on the wall and Kiera is pulling a book out of a shelf, her back to me.

“Ready?” Hayes says, following me out of the bedroom.

“How long do we have to stay here?” Bennett asks. “I have plans tonight.”

“With who?” Camille snaps. She is definitely drunk. I thought for a second, earlier while she was talking, she might be sobering up, but I was wrong. She’s going to drink her way into unconsciousness, hoping she wakes up tomorrow morning with no memory of any of it.

“My father,” Bennett says. “I can’t cancel.”

“You can and you will,” Hayes says, unlocking the library doors and throwing them open. “Let’s go. And stay together, for fuck’s sake. If ever there was a time to use the buddy system, this is it. The last thing we need is one of us going missing.”

There’s a nervous moment where we all look at each other without actually looking at each other, then—like I can almost feel this sense of… forgetting—we drop it.

We’re good at that, I realize.

We line up like kids. And it’s funny, kinda. Because we were all kids together. Except Kiera. But the rest of us went to the same schools all growing up. I think Sofia and Bennett came to all of my first seven birthday parties. Hayes was there on and off. Camille was shuttled off to Paris from age six through twelve, so I didn’t see her much. Louise was never one of us. Still isn’t. But Emily was. She was with us in upper boarding school. I didn’t know her well, but looking back I probably could’ve predicted her situation. Something was never quite right about that girl.