The Dirty Ones

“It’s all wrong,” I say. “Every bit of this is wrong.”

“Stop it,” she whispers. “It’s not wrong.”

“Not us,” I say, turning to face her. “This.”

She squints her eyes at me, like I’m talking about her apartment. Or New York. But her furrowed brow relaxes. She takes a deep breath. “Just don’t think so hard. That’s how I get through it.”

And I want to say… Get through what? What are we getting through?

But I can’t. I can’t make myself ask those questions.

Because deep down inside I know all the answers. And deep down inside I know that’s where they need to stay.

Buried.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE – CONNOR

I’m surprised to find Camille in my office. She’s with Bennett, but he’s supposed to be there. She’s not.

“Hey,” I say, walking in and dropping my briefcase on the floor next to my desk.

It’s a large office. My dad’s offices, actually. I just have one corner on the east side of the building. Thank God he’s all the way on the other side because that means I can sneak in without seeing him.

But everyone else saw me. So the reprieve will be short-lived.

“What the fuck was last night?” Bennett asks, picking up a pen from my desk, then clicks it incessantly as he leans back into the chair next to Camille.

I raise one eyebrow at him. “I’m not sure I understand the question, Counsellor.”

“The fucking… fucked-up… fuckery!” Camille spits.

“Well, thanks for that, Camille,” I say, sitting down in front of my desk. “It’s all clear now.”

“The book, Emily, the game of Clue, the dinner,” Bennett says, listing all the fuckery.

“Did you guys ever find the crazy bitch?” Camille asks.

I just stare at her, thinking back on what happened earlier. Did I make that up? I mean, I thought it was real, but Hayes… would Hayes lie to me?

“Connor?” Bennett says, losing patience fast. Which is unlike him most days. Most days he’s pretty laid back. “Answer us.”

“I mean, what do you want me to say?”

“Did they find her?”

“Yes,” I say. Because no matter if I saw her or not, she was found by someone.

“Is she back in the hospital?” Camille asks.

“I… don’t know. I mean, yes. Yes. She’s back in the hospital.”

“You don’t sound sure,” Bennett says, still clicking that pen.

“I’m sure,” I say, wholly unsure. “Now… is there a reason you’re in my office right now?”

“Yeah,” Bennett says, clicking that stupid pen again. I stare at his thumb as it presses and releases whatever that little sticking-up clicky thing is called on the end of a pen. “Your father called me in to look over your statement of candidacy and make sure all the committees are set up with the people we talked about.” He juts his head to a folder sitting in front of me on my desk.

“These?”

“Yeah. It’s all filled out except for your signature. You just never mentioned anything about the announcement last night so I was sorta surprised.”

“What?” I say.

“You’re announcing on Saturday night?”

I shake my head. “No, I’m not. I’m not even gonna run. Things have changed.”

I look over at Camille and wait for her typical sardonic insult that will simultaneously cut me down and blow me up in the same breath. But she says nothing. Just looks at me with lots of questions in her eyes.

“What?” I ask her.

She shakes her head but speaks at the same time. “You ever get that feeling that you’ve been here before?”

I know what she’s talking about. The word for it escapes me, but that’s not what she’s talking about. Something else…

“So anyway,” Bennett says. “I guess I understand the announcement on Saturday night, but Louise? Why the hell?”

I want to say, What are you talking about? But I’ve used up my quota of dumbass questions for the day. Even I’m getting sick of my clueless repetition. So I take a deep breath and reply, “Louise is hosting my announcement party?”

They both nod at me, frowning. Like this makes them unhappy in a sad way. Which is weird. Then Camille says, “I’m not going.” She shakes her head. “I’m not going. I’m not going anywhere anymore. I’m staying home in my apartment and…” She lets out a long breath of air. “I’m just not going.”

“OK,” I say. Cautiously. “But”—I put my hands up, palms out—“and I’m not trying to be a dick here, but you weren’t invited. No one expects you to show up for my party. Hell, I’m not even gonna show up for my party.”

“Connor,” Bennett says. “Hayes called a little while ago and said we had to go. All six of us.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

“It’s that book,” Camille says. “That stupid book. Everything was fine until that book showed up and now everything is not. I’m not going to the party, you guys. I’m not going.”

“It’s fine, Camille,” Bennett says. “You don’t have to go.”