In to Her

“Isn’t that right?” AJ asks Logan.

It takes several more seconds but Logan finally responds with a nod. “Yeah. That’s right.”

But in my head I hear that name they call him. Logan the Loyal. And they call him that because it’s a joke.

He’s not loyal. Never has been.

So how can he be loyal now?

Chapter Thirty-Four – LOGAN

I know what they’re both thinking, but it doesn’t matter anymore. What’s done is done.

“Do you have any idea how pissed off Damon is gonna be when he finds out we’re all still alive but not under his control anymore?”

I’m talking to AJ, but looking at Yvette. Because I can’t meet his eyes right now. If I do, I won’t be able to tell the lie.

“I have an idea,” Yvette says.

“Yeah,” I say. “I’m sure you do. You could probably write a whole book about your experience with Damon.”

Which is unfair and maybe a little mean. Because she did write a whole book about it. It’s up in her journal. The rapes. The beatings. The verbal abuse. It’s all in there.

But she needs to think about this. They both need to think about this. Because that’s who that guy is. He will never stop. He killed her husband and their infant daughter just to get revenge. Just because she didn’t want to be raped, and beaten, and verbally abused anymore and took it upon herself to leave.

Not kill him. Not hurt him. Not even spit threats and insults at him.

Just leave. Just walk away with nothing.

And even if you add in the fact that she was pregnant, he has to know that the baby probably isn’t his. That’s how many times he let his inner circle rape her.

Doesn’t matter though. Not in Damon’s mind.

She committed the ultimate sin. She turned him into something meaningless.

And he can’t stand that. He’d rather be killed than forgotten.

So he bided his time. He planned this whole thing so carefully just so he could maximize the depth of his retribution over her betrayal. Take away all her hard-won happiness.

“He is going to hunt us down, Yvette.” But again, I’m really talking to AJ. He’s the one who needs to hear this from me. I just can’t tell him that yet. “There is no limit to the resources he will spend in order to find us. There is no line he won’t cross, there is no wait that is too long, there is no way out. Do you understand this?”

She swallows hard and nods. “I do,” she whispers.

“We’re all we have left.”

I let that hang there. Staring at her. She stares back and then I switch my gaze to AJ and say it again, just for his benefit. “If we do this… we’re all we have left.”

AJ’s gaze can’t meet mine. It hurts to see it. I want to tell him that. I really do.

I want to say, I’m sorry. I had to do it.

I want to tell him I love him. And if we did this I’m sure I’d love Yvette too. I’m sure we, of all people, could make this fucked-up threesome work.

I want to tell him thank you. For being my friend. For always having my back. For trusting me today.

Because he did trust me. I heard his phone ring upstairs. I knew who it was. I knew what he said. And I also knew, with my whole heart, that AJ would never do it. He would never betray me the way I would him.

And that’s why I knew I’d win out in the end.

AJ sways a little in his chair, almost falls over.

Yvette puts a hand to her head, eyes heavy and closing. “I feel… funny,” she says.

“I know,” I whisper, sadness in my voice. “I’m sorry about that, cookie. I really am. But it couldn’t be helped. I’m the monster here, not AJ. And that means I’m the only one who can finish this job.”

And then I get out my phone, call up Manny, and say, “We’re ready for the clean-up.”

Chapter Thirty-Five – AJ

We’re ready for clean-up.

The pills.

That’s all I think about as I sway to the side and then fall out of my chair.

The pills. I can’t focus my eyes. But I try. I desperately try to find the pill bottle on top of the jukebox. Hoping it’s still there.

It isn’t.

He drugged us with the fentanyl.

Isn’t it ironic that Yvette will die the way she planned after all?

There was never going to be a fight. Not Logan’s style, is it? Why should he bother? Why should he risk it? When he can just dump those pills into some champagne and have us drink it?

We trusted him. I trusted him.

There wasn’t even a single moment when Damon called that I considered following through with his request. Not a single moment.

But Logan has never been loyal.

Not to me, not Yvette, not to anyone. Not even to Damon. He’s just… doing his job. That’s all this is to him. That’s all we are to him.