Thomas & January (Sleepless 2)

“Oh Jesus,” I heard behind me.

I turned to find Jason. “What?” I asked, knowing full well what he meant and who he meant it for.

“I had no idea.”

“I did,” I told him, staring after the most breathtakingly beautiful woman I’d ever seen in person and Christ was she a natural at it. She looked supremely uncomfortable, but I was willing to bet I was the only one who would have been able to tell that in the way she held her arms a little stiffer than usual.

“And you’re in love with her,” Jason said matter-of-factly.

“I am,” I said without reservation, still staring at her.

“This time it’s real,” Jason said, folding his arms and leaning against the wall next to me.

“I know it is.”

“Then why the hell have her come here alone?” he asked me.

“Because...” I offered, not really sure what to say.

“She’s in love with you too,” he said, trying to get my attention but I still was unable to tear my eyes away.

“No, she’s not.”

“The hell she’s not,” he told me. “I was with her all day and I know January. She’s in love.”

“Yeah, with Jonah,” I said, not really knowing if that was true.

Jason laughed so loud it caught the attention of one of the security guards at the entrance. “That’s rich,” he said, sucking in a breath. “My God, you really are the world’s biggest fool.” He walked away, shaking his head, and muttering, “What an idiot.”

January was approaching the end of the walkway so I sank into the shadows a bit and watched her break the threshold. She brought the backs of her hands to her flushed cheeks and smiled to herself, but her expression quickly turned to worry and what looked a little like determination. I never wanted to touch someone so badly as I did January in that moment. I fisted my hands at my side, bolstering myself with the memory of that phone call. I needed to talk to her about it but tonight was not the night. We had a job to do and it needed to be done before Jonah showed up. That R&D spot was mine.

Inside, the club was noisy and ridiculously crowded and I lost January pretty quickly but somehow found Jason again.

“Have you seen January since she’s come in? I need her to be there when the band shows up.”

“No, I haven’t,” he said, taking a swig of a dark liquid.

“I’ll have to look around then. I might have to meet the band without her.”

Jason was called to the bar for some kind of alcohol emergency and had to leave me to myself. I scanned the crowd below me and tried to see through the smoky, dark room. Intermittent laserlike lights would cascade over the heads of the club patrons and would highlight randomly, allowing me to see for short periods of time. My second sweep across the floor provided me a glimpse of her and my eyes strained to see through the fog so I inched closer and got the biggest surprise of my life.

January. Hugging Jonah.

My heart pounded severely against my ribs and my mouth went dry. I gripped the handle of the railing and leaned over as much as I could without falling to my death.

What a traitorous bitch, I thought to myself. My heart turned to mush inside my chest and for the first time in years I wanted to cry. Well, if I wanted to know what it really felt like to lose the love of your life, the one person truly made for me, I’ve definitely gotten my fucking wish. I scrubbed my hands over my face and through my hair. They were unsure what to do with themselves. I’ve got a job for you, I told my hands as they fisted into white knuckles. I pushed myself from the railing and booked it down the stairs into the belly of the beast. I’d lost sight of them through the undulating crowd so I pushed through without regard for the guests around me.

I broke through close enough to catch another glimpse of them but stopped cold when I saw she wasn’t hugging Jonah, she was shoving Jonah, fighting his roaming hands and crying. The adrenaline hit me like an atomic bomb, realizing I was the biggest dumbass in the world. She wasn’t the traitor, I was. I was so quick to think ill of her, afraid that I’d get hurt, that I was willing to jump to ridiculous conclusions, despite the fact that January hadn’t ever done anything for me to distrust her so wholly.

I pushed harder and with new vigor. I needed to get to her. She needed me and I hadn’t been there for her. My heart tore in two, aggravating an already ragged wound. I’d been the betrayer, not the betrayed. I felt sick to my stomach as I made my way through the thick group of people.

“Get off of me!” I heard her scream, tears streaming down her face. “Stop!”

“January!” I yelled but she couldn’t hear me over the pounding bass. “January!” I tried again but it did no good.

I felt like I was making no progress. I was failing her. No one around her noticed her predicament except me and I was failing her. Her arms were red and swollen from his mishandling her and I couldn’t fucking get to her!

Suddenly, I heard faint but gut-wrenching screams come from the direction of the DJ booth and everyone’s heads whipped that direction.