The Sexpert

“Uh. OK,” I say. Because we live in the same building. We work in the same building. I mean, it’s inevitable.

He gets up and walks behind my chair so he can pull it out for me.

“Thank you,” I say, surprised. I don’t think I’ve ever been on a date with a man who did that. They might hold my chair and help me sit if they’re really feeling chivalrous, but not help me get up.

It’s weird. But nice. And kinda sweet.

“Shall we?” Andrew says, waving his hand at the front of the restaurant.

We walk out of the restaurant and into the warm July night. The Towne Centre is bustling with people walking around. Going to dinner, or bars, or wherever.

“This place is kinda cool. I don’t think I hate it,” Andrew says.

“Yeah?” I say, thankful we have the TDH small talk to fill the silence. “I mean, yeah. I’ve been wanting to move here ever since I got the job at Le Man. It just feels so… alive and vibrant. I love all the shops and how everything is walkable. I don’t even have to get in my car to go to the dry cleaner. Did you know the TDH has a walkable score of ninety-seven?” I ask.

When I glance over at him he’s just grinning.

“What?”

“No, I didn’t know that. But yeah, it’s a regular walker’s paradise.”

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?”

Like he wants to eat me. But I don’t say that. “Like… I amuse you.”

“Didn’t know I was.”

“You are.”

“Oh. Well… because you do. It’s not often you meet a person that you like right away.”

I snort. Then feel awkward. I don’t have my glasses on tonight—I usually reserve them for work hours or night-time reading. So I can’t even busy myself pushing them up my nose right now.

My phone buzzes in my purse and I say a silent Thank you, Jesus. Only I say Hey-Sus instead of Jesus because… well, it’s a joke left over from some Latin class I took in fourth grade and just something I say. And thank God it’s silent. Because I don’t feel like explaining. I fish around in my purse and find my phone to check the screen.

Zoey: I need you. We have to add a voiceover to the video you recorded. Get here now.

“Everything OK?”

“Um…” I say, looking at Andrew.

“Is it?” He seems genuinely concerned. I try not to think about it too hard.

“Yup. Yup. Just fine. I just… one second.” I clumsily text Zoey back: I’m onnna dte cant just use itlike it is

“Yeah? You sure?” Andrew asks as I slide my phone into my purse.

“Everything’s fine—” But there’s another ding. “One sec,” I say, pulling my phone back out.

Zoey: No! We have to respond to a statement about this accusation from your boss! It’s all over the internet! His lawyer says they will be presenting evidence or some shit that we stole their idea!

Me: What??????

Zoey: We have to address it. This started off as the best day and now it’s fucked. Call me when you get home. Maybe we can just record you on the phone.

Me: K

I scowl at my phone. I mean, having dinner with my new accidental archenemy was bad enough, but now I have inside information about his plan to take me down. Am I breaking a law? And I work for him. Hey-Sus! Can he send me to prison over this? Do I need a lawyer?

“Are you sure you’re sure everything’s OK?” Andrew asks again.

“Yup,” I say. And OMG. He’s the man Pierce has hired to take me down! I start walking faster. I need to get away from him like… now. And this dinner stuff? First date equals last date as far as Andrew and Eden go. Nope. I can’t do this.

“Hey.” Andrew laughs. “Slow down.” He jogs to catch up to me and then grabs my elbow. “Is there an emergency?”

“Nope,” I say. But then I cringe. And my lie is blown.

“What? What is it?”

“Nothing.” I sigh. “I just… that was work and…”

“Work? Like the magazine needs you to go in tonight or something? For what? It’s a magazine.”

“No.” I laugh. “No, no, no. My other job.” Shit! Why the hell did I say that?

“Other job?” Andrew asks, eyebrows arched. “What’s that? Oh, God. You’re a prostitute, aren’t you?”

“What?”

“OK, call girl then. Whatever.”

“No! No! God, no! It’s not… it’s just…” Holy shit. I’m dying here. “It’s not a job. It’s just a hobby, really. That’s all. But it’s kinda having a good day. Sort of. I’m not sure. I gotta go.”

I pull my hand away and start power-walking towards Sunset Towers, eager to get away from him and call Zoey. I need to know exactly what’s happening here.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Andrew says, catching up with me and placing a hand on my shoulder. Which sends tingles up my arm because the dress I’m wearing is sleeveless. “We’re going to the same place, remember?”