Equal Rites (Discworld 3)
“Hallo! Esk, isn't it? H-how d-did you get h-here?”
It was Simon, standing there with a book under each arm. Esk blushed.
“Granny won't tell me,” she said. “I think it's something to do with men and women.”
Simon looked at her blankly. Then he grinned. Esk thought about the question a second time.
“I work here. I sweep up.” She waved the staff in explanation.
“Inhere?”
Esk stared at him. She felt alone, and lost, and more than a little betrayed. Everyone seemed to be busy living their own lives, except her. She would spend the rest of her life cleaning up after wizards. It wasn't fair, and she'd had enough.
“Actually I don't. Actually I'm learning to read so I can be a wizard.”
The boy regarded her through his damp eyes for some seconds. Then he gently took the book out of Esk's hands and read its title.
“Demonylogie Malyfycorum of Henchanse thee Unsatyfactory. How did you think you could learn to r-read this?”
“Um,” said Esk, “Well, you just keep trying until you can, don't you? Like milking, or knitting, or . . . .” Her voice faded away.
“I don't know about that. These books can be a bit, well, aggressive. If you d-don't be careful they start reading you.”
“What do you mean?”
“T-they ssss-”
“- say -”said Esk, automatically.
“- that there was once a wwww-”
“- wizard -”
“- who started to r-read the Necrotelecomnicon and let his m-mind wwwwww-”
“- wander -”
“- and next morning they f-found all his clothes on the chair and hhis hat on t-top of them and the b-book had -”
Esk put her fingers in her ears, but not too hard in case she missed anything.
“I don't want to know about it if it's horrid.”
“- had a lot more pages.”
Esk took her fingers out of her ears. “Was there anything on the pages?”
Simon nodded solemnly. “Yes. On every sssingle one of ththem there www-”
“No,” said Esk. “I don't even want to imagine it. I thought reading was more peaceful than that, I mean, Granny read her Almanack every day and nothing ever happened to her.”
“I d-daresay ordinary tame www-”
“- words -”
“- are all right,” Simon conceded, magnanimously.
“Are you absolutely certain?” said Esk.