Mort (Discworld 4)

'Cutwell!' snapped Mort. The wizard nodded, caught Keli around the waist and bodily hoisted her on to Binky's back. Hoisting his skirts around his waist he clambered up behind Mort and reached down and swung Ysabell up behind him. The horse jigged across the floor, complaining about the overloading, but Mort turned him towards the broken doorway and urged him forward.

The interface followed them as they clattered down the hall and into the courtyard, rising slowly. Its pearly fog was only yards away, tightening by inches.

'Excuse me,' said Cutwell to Ysabell, raising his hat. 'Igneous Cutwell, Wizard Ist Grade (UU), former Royal Recogniser and soon to be beheaded probably. Would you happen to know where we are going?'

To my father's country,' shouted Ysabell, above the wind of their passage.

'Have I ever met him?'

'I don't think so. You'd have remembered.'

The top of the palace wall scraped Binky's hooves as, muscles straining, he sought for more height. Cutwell leaned backward again, holding on to his hat.

'Who is this gentleman of which we speak?' he yelled.

'Death,' said Ysabell.

'Not —'

'Yes.'

'Oh.' Cutwell peered down at the distant rooftops, and gave her a lopsided smile. 'Would it save time if I just jumped off now?'

'He's quite nice if you get to know him,' said Ysabell defensively.

'Is he? Do you think we'll get the chance?'

'Hold on!' said Mort. 'We should be going across just about —'

A hole full of blackness rushed out of the sky and caught them.

The interface bobbed uncertainly, empty as a pauper's pocket, and carried on shrinking.

The front door opened. Ysabell poked her head out.

'There's no-one at home,' she said. 'You'd better come in.'

The other three filed into the hallway. Cutwell conscientiously wiped his feet.

'It's a bit small,' said Keli, critically.

'It's a lot bigger inside,' said Mort, and turned to Ysabell. 'Have you looked everywhere?'

'I can't even find Albert,' she said. 'I can't remember him ever not being here.'

She coughed, remembering her duties as hostess.

'Would anyone like a drink?' she said. Keli ignored her.

'I was expecting a castle at least,' she said. 'Big and black, with great dark towers. Not an umbrella stand.'

'It has got a scythe in it,' Cutwell pointed out.

'Let's all go into the study and sit down and I'm sure we'll all feel better,' said Ysabell hurriedly, and pushed open the black baize door.

Cutwell and Keli stepped through, bickering. Ysabell took Mort's arm.

'What are we going to do now?' she said. 'Father will be very angry if he finds them here.'