Sourcery (Discworld 5)

‘I don’t expect anyone will even notice I’m gone,’ said Rincewind.

‘Fine, fine,’ said Conina.

‘I shall be chopped into small pieces, I expect,’ said Rincewind, walking toward the door at the speed of a dying snail.

Conina blinked.

‘What hat?’ she said, and then, ‘Oh, that hat.’

‘I suppose there’s no possible chance that you two might be of some assistance?’ Rincewind ventured.

Somewhere inside Conina and Nijel’s private world the bluebirds went to roost, the little pink clouds drifted away and the orchestra packed up and sneaked off to do a private gig at a nightclub somewhere. A bit of reality reasserted itself.

Conina dragged her admiring gaze away from Nijel’s rapt face and turned it on to Rincewind, where it grew slightly cooler.

She sidled across the floor and grabbed the wizard by the arm.

‘Look,’ she said, ‘you won’t tell him who I really am, will you? Only boys get funny ideas and - well, anyway, if you do I will personally break all your-’

‘I’ll be far too busy,’ said Rincewind, ‘what with you helping me get the hat and everything. Not that I can imagine what you see in him,’ he added, haughtily.

‘He’s nice. I don’t seem to meet many nice people.’

‘Yes, well-’

‘He’s looking at us!’

‘So what? You’re not frightened of him, are you?’

‘Suppose he talks to me!’

Rincewind looked blank. Not for the first time in his life, he felt that there were whole areas of human experience that had passed him by, if areas could pass by people. Maybe he had passed them by. He shrugged.

‘Why did you let them take you off to the harem without a fight?’ he said.

‘I’ve always wanted to know what went on in one.’

There was a pause. ‘Well?’ said Rincewind.

‘Well, we all sat round, and then after a bit the Seriph came in, and then he asked me over and said that since I was new it would be my turn, and then, you’ll never guess what he wanted me to do. The girls said it’s the only thing he’s interested in.’

‘Er.’

‘Are you all right?’

‘Fine, fine,’ Rincewind muttered.

‘Your face has gone all shiny.’

‘No, I’m fine, fine.’

‘He asked me to tell him a story.’

‘What about?’ said Rincewind suspiciously.

‘The other girls said he prefers something with rabbits in it.’

‘Ah. Rabbits.’