Wyrd Sisters (Discworld 6)

'Sorry?' said Magrat.

The young fellow with the bells,' said Nanny. 'And the face like a spaniel what's just been kicked.'

'Oh, him.' Magrat blushed hotly under her pale makeup. 'Really, he's just this man. He just follows me around.'

'Can be difficult, can that,' said Nanny sagely.

'Besides, he's so small. And he capers all over the place,' said Magrat.

'Looked at him carefully, have you?' said the old witch.

'Pardon?'

'You haven't, have you? I thought not. He's a very clever man, that Fool. He ought to have been one of them actor men.'

'What do you mean?'

'Next time you have a look at him like a witch, not like a woman,' said Nanny, and gave Magrat a conspiratorial nudge. 'Good bit of work with the door back there,' she added. 'Coming on well, you are. I hope you told him about Greebo.'

'He said he'd let him out directly, Nanny.'

There was a snort from Granny Weatherwax.

'Did you hear the sniggering in the crowd?' she said. 'Someone sniggered!'

Nanny Ogg sat down beside her.

'And a couple of them pointed,' she said. 'I know.'

'It's not to be borne!'

Magrat sat down on the other end of the log.

'There's other witches,' she said. 'There's lots of witches further up the Ramtops. Maybe they can help.'

The other two looked at her in pained surprise.

'I don't think we need go that far,' sniffed Granny. 'Asking for help.'

'Very bad practice,' nodded Nanny Ogg.

'But you asked a demon to help you,' said Magrat.

'No, we didn't,' said Granny.

'Right. We didn't.'

'We ordered it to assist.'

'S'right.'

Granny Weatherwax stretched out her legs and looked at her boots. They were good strong boots, with hobnails and crescent-shaped scads; you couldn't believe a cobbler had made them, someone had laid down a sole and built up from there.

'I mean, there's that witch over Skund way,' she said. 'Sister Whosis, wossname, her son went off to be a sailor – you know, Gytha, her who sniffs and puts them antimassacres on the backs of chairs soon as you sits down—'

'Grodley,' said Nanny Ogg. 'Sticks her little finger out when she drinks her tea and drops her Haitches all the time.'

'Yes. Hwell. I haven't hlowered myself to talk to her hever since that business with the gibbet, you recall. I daresay she'd just love to come snooping haround here, running her fingers over heverything and sniffing, telling us how to do things. Oh. yes. Help. We'd all be in a fine to-do if we went around helping all the time.'