Wyrd Sisters (Discworld 6)

'Where's Nanny?' she said.

'She's lying out on the lawn,' said Granny. 'She felt a bit poorly.' And from outside came the sound of Nanny Ogg being poorly at the top of her voice.

Magrat sighed.

'You know,' she said, 'if we are his godmothers, we ought to have given him three gifts. It's traditional.'

'What are you talking about, girl?'

'Three good witches are supposed to give the baby three gifts. You know, like good looks, wisdom and happiness.' Magrat pressed on defiantly. 'That's how it used to be done in the old days.'

'Oh, you mean gingerbread cottages and all that,' said Granny dismissively. 'Spinning wheels and pumpkins and pricking your finger on rose thorns and similar. I could never be having with all that.'

She polished the ball reflectively.

'Yes, but—' Magrat said. Granny glanced up at her. That was Magrat for you. Head full of pumpkins. Everyone's fairy godmother, for two pins. But a good soul, underneath it all. Kind to small furry animals. The sort of person who worried about baby birds falling out of nests.

'Look, if it makes you any happier,' she muttered, surprised at herself. She waved her hands vaguely over the image of the departing carts. 'What's it to be – wealth, beauty?'

'Well, money isn't everything, and if he takes after his father he'll be handsome enough,' Magrat said, suddenly serious. 'Wisdom, do you think?'

'That's something he'll have to learn for himself,' said Granny.

'Perfect eyesight? A good singing voice?' From the lawn outside came Nanny Ogg's cracked but enthusiastic voice telling the night sky that A Wizard's Staff Has A Knob On The End.

'Not important,' said Granny loudly. 'You've got to think headology, see? Not muck about with all this beauty and. wealth business. That's not important.'

She turned back to the ball and gestured half-heartedly. 'You'd better go and get Nanny, then, seeing as there should be three of us.'

Nanny was helped in, eventually, and had to have things explained to her.

'Three gifts, eh?' she said. 'Haven't done one of them things since I was a gel, it takes me back – what're you doing?'

Magrat was bustling around the room, lighting candles.

'Oh, we've got to create the right magical ambience,' she explained. Granny shrugged, but said nothing, even in the face of the extreme provocation. All witches did their magic in their own way, and this was Magrat's house.

'What're we going to give him, then?' said Nanny.

'We was just discussing it,' said Granny.

'I know what he'll want,' said Nanny. She made a suggestion, which was received in frozen silence.

'I don't see what use that would be,' said Magrat, eventually. 'Wouldn't it be rather uncomfortable?'

'He'll thank us when he grows up, you mark my words,' said Nanny. 'My first husband, he always said—'

'Something a bit less physical is generally the style of things,' interrupted Granny, glaring at Nanny Ogg. 'There's no need to go and spoil everything, Gytha. Why do you always have to—'

'Well, at least I can say that I—' Nanny began.

Both voices faded to a mutter. There was a long edgy silence.

'I think,' said Magrat, with brittle brightness, 'that perhaps it would be a good idea if we all go back to our little cottages and do it in our own way. You know. Separately. It's been a long day and we're all rather tired.'

'Good idea,' said Granny firmly, and stood up. 'Come, Nanny Ogg,' she snapped. 'It's been a long day and we're all rather tired.'

Magrat heard them bickering as they wandered down the path.