Wyrd Sisters (Discworld 6)

'And every Hogswatchnight, a side of venison. Regular,' said Granny wistfully.

'Oh, yes. Very respectful to witches, he was,' added Nanny Ogg. 'When he was out hunting people, if he met me in the woods, it was always off with his helmet and “I hope I finds you well, Mistress Ogg” and next day he'd send his butler down with a couple of bottles of something. He was a proper king.'

'Hunting people isn't really right, though,' said Magrat.

'Well, no,' Granny Weatherwax conceded. 'But it was only if they'd done something bad. He said they enjoyed it really. And he used to let them go if they gave him a good run,'

'And then there was that great hairy thing of his,' said Nanny Ogg.

There was a perceptible change in the atmosphere. It became warmer, darker, filled at the corners with the shadows of unspoken conspiracy.

'Ah,' said Granny Weatherwax distantly. 'His droit de seigneur.'

'Needed a lot of exercise,' said Nanny Ogg, staring at the fire.

'But next day he'd send his housekeeper round with a bag of silver and a hamper of stuff for the wedding,' said Granny. 'Many a couple got a proper start in life thanks to that.'

'Ah,' agreed Nanny. 'One or two individuals, too.'

'Every inch a king,' said Granny.

'What are you talking about?' said Magrat suspiciously. 'Did he keep pets?'

The two witches surfaced from whatever deeper current they had been swimming in. Granny Weatherwax shrugged.

'I must say,' Magrat went on, in severe tones, 'if you think so much of the old king, you don't seem very worried about him being killed. I mean, it was a pretty suspicious accident.'

'That's kings for you,' said Granny. 'They come and go, good and bad. His father poisoned the king we had before.'

'That was old Thargum,' said Nanny Ogg. 'Had a big red beard, I recall. He was very gracious too, you know.'

is foolish,' he told himself. 'Marry, but is it foolish enough!'

He dozed off fitfully, into some sort of dream where a vague figure kept trying to attract his attention, and was only dimly aware of the voices of Lord and Lady Felmet on the other side of the door.

'It's certainly a lot less draughty,' said the duchess grudgingly.

The duke sat back in the armchair and smiled at his wife.

'Well?' she demanded. 'Where are the witches?'

'The chamberlain would appear to be right, beloved. The witches seem to have the local people in thrall. The sergeant of the guard came back empty-handed.' Handed . . . he came down heavily on the importunate thought.

'You must have him executed,' she said promptly. 'To make an example to the others.'

'A course of action, my dear, which ultimately results in us ordering the last soldier to cut his own throat as an example to himself. By the way,' he added mildly, 'there would appear to be somewhat fewer servants around the place. You know I would not normally interfere—'

'Then don't,' she snapped. 'Housekeeping is under my control. I cannot abide slackness.'

'I'm sure you know best, but—'

'What of these witches? Will you stand idly by and let trouble seed for thg future? Will you let these witches defy you? What of the crown?'

The duke shrugged. 'No doubt it ended in the river,' he said.

'And the child? He was given to the witches? Do they do human sacrifice?'

'It would appear not,' said the duke. The duchess looked vaguely disappointed.